The worst trouble you were ever in

Go ahead, tell about it. Crime, punishment by parents, discipline in the service, punishment at school (grade school, junior high, high school, college).
I was suspended from school for kicking a hole in a wall; my Dad whipped me with a belt for breaking the car’s ignition key; I was detained once in a store for shoplifting.

But don’t stop there. Go as far as you see fit in your situations.

This is small potatoes because I generally keep my nose clean, but when I was a freshman in college, I was brand new to the Internet. I thought it would be funny to post an ad for the “Bastard Son of the Lord Home Page” to a bunch of religious and/or cat-themed newsgroups on Usenet. I think I hit about 70 or 80 of them. I was bored and would just cut and paste a few in between surfing my email and the web or whatever.

The network administrator of my college thought it was less funny. I almost had my network privileges permanently revoked (which would have really, really sucked) but pled ignorance and got away with only having to write a sincere letter of apology hand-delivered to the network admin’s office.

“Trouble” only applies if you get caught.

I am not proud to say this, but a helluvalotta stuff I did when I was younger would have led to jail time (at least) if I had been caught at it, up to and including embezzlement from several places of employment. There are also several women I should apologize to if I could locate them (or remember their names), but hopefully they have suppressed any relevant memories.

Have the DA draw up some sort of blanket immunity deal. Then I’ll talk.

I got arrested and taken to jail for jaywalking. No, really. After about two hours in the drunk tank which was luckily empty at that time I bailed out; bail was $5.00. This is positively a true story. The cop who arrested me was a motorcycle cop, and he actually had to call for a squad car to take me to jail. Why? Because I didn’t have my driver’s license with me. Remember, I was on foot. WTF? I don’t get it to this day. When I went to court, I was let off with surrendering the bail I posted. So it only cost me $5. Plus a day in court and a few hours in jail. And I got a great story out of it.

My imagination can run wild on that one. :wink:

I accidentally shot our TV when I was 12.

Parents weren’t real thrilled about that.

I will just give one example. I was very drunk and ended up in a filed across the street from a municipal airport. The small airplanes were comming in very low and I was throwing dirt clods at them, I wasn’t even getting close as they were still a bit too high. After being buzzed by several aircrafts someone called the police and had me arrested. The charges were very serious! Anyway as a minor my dad was able to strike a deal with the judge and I had to write an essay on how dangerous this could have been.

similar to Whatist-Abused my e-mail during college. Had to apply for reinstatment. (Due to illness, was 8 years later)

When I was probably 4 or maybe 5 I stole some keys from the hardware store. My father was there getting something and I was wandering around. I saw the keys hanging next to the key maker and I thought some of them looked cool. So I took them.

Some time after we got home I showed them to my father. I told him I found them in the closet. Of course he knew right away because the keys were blanks. He took me back to the hardware store and made me hand them over and apologize.

Warrant issued for my arrest for failing to file several sales tax returns for a previous business that shifted scope (pure labor so non taxable). I moved, all the hate mail was going to old address and not being forwarded. 3 years later I finally get a phone call from one of the BOE enforcement people who basically goes…you know there is an arrest warrant for you because they think you owe like $11,000 in sales taxes you have not passed on. A few hours work for my accountant got it all sorted out but I was shitting cinderblocks and driving real nice worrying that if I get pulled over they are going to drag me in and impound my work truck.

Loach-Are you posting from a monastery? No big trouble since pre-school? I’m jealous! :smiley:

Ditto, one of my previous jobs had a way we could purchase certain materials at very deep discounts customers could purchase at same price, we just got first crack at it. In my case it was stuff that I could buy for $1-$2 each and easily resell via ebay for $10-$12. Part of the deal was that we were not allowed to resell them. over a 3 year period I had like $25K in ebay sales doing this. Amusingly enough I came up with the plan presenting it as a way for us to derive revenues from certain aspects of our inventory that we were having trouble moving and even figured it would eventually become a full time position dealing with the posting and processing of those orders. 3 layers of bosses said not no but hell no.

Workload wise, it took me less than 1 hour per day to do the work, and most of that was running to the post office on my lunch break. If it was part of our normal order fullfillment process, it would have been even easier.

Probably the stern lecture I got when I was about 12 years old and the dentist told us that I needed braces - “You are stealing food off the plates of your siblings!” “Nobody put braces on their kids’ teeth when we were growing up except to show off how much money they had to throw around!” “Do you realize how selfish this is?” “This is going to damage our image in the community!” etc. - and then they had the dentist toy around with it for the next 5 years before finally allowing me to go to an orthodontist, who took care of the problem in a year and a half. This was the same dentist who also did fillings and extractions without anesthetic, and later lost his license for molesting patients. :eek: :mad: Probably the worst thing was when he bent the wires OUT instead of in, and both he and they refused to do anything about it for almost a week. I nearly ended up in the hospital from dehydration because I couldn’t eat or drink anything.

And when my sister turned out to have the same problem, she got to have it done right the first time. :mad:

No, I don’t see my parents much, and yes, they WILL go to a bad nursing home should the need arise, why do you ask? :dubious: Their excuse for not switching dentists was that a certain neighbor had recommended him - and they weren’t even living there any more by this time!

In other words, I got in trouble for simply existing.

Mom really hated the first season of “The Dukes of Hazzard” and wanted to keep me away from the TV for that hour.

So she sat on me.

From when I was a teenager- my brother and I shoplifted from KMart when I was 15, and I got caught. KMart wanted me to sweep their parking lot every Saturday for 3 months as reparation but my dad said aw hell no. He decided to make me go to church every Sunday by myself. I decided to dress up and act like I was going to church but go sit in the shed for a couple of hours instead. I did not get caught. I still don’t go to church.
More recently- I lived here in Asheville many years ago and in 1996 I moved to Tucson for 16 years and in 2012 I moved back here. In 96 just before I moved to Tucson, I apparently wrote a check to a grocery store and closed my bank account before that check was cashed. I never knew anything about it. About a year ago, I called the police for help with something, and the cop told me that there was a warrant out for my arrest. I had to go to the police station and be booked, and was released afterwards on the condition that I would go to court in the morning. I went to court, and sat there totally panicking the whole time, and I was one of the last people called, so that was hours. I had never been in trouble with the law, and I was thinking about what I was going to say when I got up there, how much it could end up costing, ohmygod what am I going to do??! Finally I get called up there, and the judge dismissed it and threw it out. Whew!!! I am just glad I never got pulled over during the 6 or 7 months I lived here before this happened.

I’ve been de facto kicked out of school twice. I say de facto because neither one officially did so-- I guess they wanted to avoid the paperwork (it’s since simplified paperwork for me, too). The first time, I was told that if I didn’t voluntarily transfer to a different school, I would be expelled at the beginning of the next semester, and the second time, I was “invited not to return”.

The first time involved calling the cops to drive me off the school grounds, so I guess that was the more serious one. The cops thought it was absurd.

As it happens, though, I’m not bitter at all about either incident, because in both cases, it resulted in me attending a far better school of which I was previously unaware. Just goes to show you never can tell.

I truly couldn’t come up with anything until I saw Alice the Goon’s post.

In 1966, my husband was out of work and I was pregnant with our third child. We were living on $17 a week unemployment and the sheriff had put an eviction notice on our door. Mom convinced us to join her and my stepdad in Seattle, and they sent us a check to pay for the trip (driving). A few days before we left, I wrote a check to buy food and beer for a going-away party, knowing that the check was no good.

Mom’s check was just enough. We arrived in Seattle with a little over a dollar.

I unwittingly got caught up in a Ponzi scheme (was supposedly to fund bulk purchases of office products, specifically second-rate Mont Blanc-type pens). Got all my friends and family involved. We all lost everything. I filed for bankruptcy, but to this day I have struggled financially, even though it’s been 19 years since it happened. The person who got me into it, the guy left holding the bag, took a plea and did 3-5 in prison.

I got a “little sister” in our fraternity pregnant… who wasn’t my girlfriend, also a little sister in the same fraternity. I pretty much got off scot-free: the baby was put up for adoption and somehow my girlfriend never found out and we actually grew close enough to move in together and consider marraige… but I screwed it up later, anyway. (Another bad trouble, but I’m choosing to not share about it.)

I was a few days past my 18th birthday. My girlfriend was a few months shy of her 18th birthday.

We go to a local park and go to the back of my truck to fool around. Shortly after a few items of clothing were removed, I see a light shining on me. It’s a park cop. He asks for my ID, then he asks for the girl’s.

What happened next is a bit of a fog, but I remember the words “statutory rape” and “contributing to the deliquency of a minor” being used.

However, he took pity on me and told me to get the fuck out of his park before he changed his mind.