Your worst crime, new non-bumped version!

Since there seemed to be some interest in the bumped thread before it got locked down…

Hmm…my worst crime I don’t think I’ll disclose (first post to the thread and I’m already cheating) but the “crime” that got me arrested was domestic disturbance. A (quite literally) insane roommate who was in the habit of dumping the garbage on the kitchen floor to be sure that I hadn’t put a piece of my garbage into her trash can did it one too many times without cleaning it up. I snapped, busted her bedroom door open and began yelling at her. She pushed me and I hit her a few times with the half-loaf of moldy bread from the trash, finally throwing it at her and yelling at her to clean that shit up. She called the cops and because I was a large scary-looking white guy and she was a tiny Asian woman who could cry convincingly and had a one-inch scratch on her arm, I got arrested. Thus showing the stupidity of required arrests for domestic disturbances, as before the arrest I was over it but after the arrest I was prepared to kill her.

Is the trial still pending? Otherwise make with the resolution!

My worst crime is masturbating like a motherfuck.
For 20 minutes. Once. At the deepest part of the ocean.

As for any other crimes, Ididn’tdoitNobodysawmedoitYoucan’tproveanything!

Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to leave anyone hanging…

This was several years ago. There was no trial; the DA pled it down to an ordinance violation, which means it became less serious than a misdemeanor, pretty much a ticket. The sentence was time served, which was a couple of hours waiting to get bailed out and it doesn’t count as a conviction.

I still think it was total crap.

Those shoes with that belt.

I once stole a small item from a shop as a youngster. That was to prove to mmyself that the reason I didn’t steal was because I chose not to steal and not because I was too affraid of getting caught. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me.

I stole a gallon jug of communion wine from the refrigerator of a Catholic church when I was 15. I drank it with a friend of mine and went to school drunk.

I am pretty sure the statute of limitations has expired for each of the below. I hope.

Reported a vehicle as stolen. The owner didn’t know till he was pulled over the next morning.

Left jugs of orange juice at a dozen houses compliments of a local dairy that provided home delivery. One jug was spiked with cascara extract, a powerful laxative. The recipient and his wife were leaving that morning on a trip to Reno. Let’s just say that the trip was not that pleasant.

Took a car that did not belong to me, removed the engine and returned it to where I found it. It was actually a mistake, the car I was suppose to take was across the street and was hidden by an old bus.

I was taken advantage of on a business deal when I was much younger. The guy that did it left on a weekend camping trip. Somehow his water was shut off and cement was poured into the inground valve/meter assembly.

When I was about 12, a friend and I stole a couple of bowling balls from a local alley. A few miles away there is a very steep road, I would say about 7 blocks long. I think you know where I’m going. The balls were released at the same time. At the first cross street, both balls took flight and flew about 50 feet. Mine bounced once on the road then hit a white Chevy van in the back left door. The back window blew out and the dent was about a foot deep. I still remember the sound of the WUMP when the ball hit. My friend’s ball went a couple more blocks and bounced off the side of a fairly new Chevy Nova then hit an old Plymouth in the left rear hub cap. I don’t think I have ridden a bike that fast for that long in my life.

Just a sec, there is a knock at the door. Looks like a police officer, wonder what he wants??

racer

First, let me say how glad I am that we’re on different coasts…

I got into a road rage thing with a guy. He was at a red light in front of me in a right turn lane and wasn’t moving. I beeped him (not honnnnnnnnked), just as the light changed and he started to move. So, being the rational sort he was, he slammed on his brakes. Then I honnnnnnnnked.

He went nuts. As I was passing him on the left, he veered at me a couple of times, and when I was abreast of him, he raved and fingered and gestured and all that. So I motioned him to pull over. And he did!

I got out of my car and approached his car. He got out and brandished a can of mace (or something) and a screwdriver.

So I beat the shit out of him. He was taken to the hospital. I was arrested, held in detention and fined.

I’m still not sorry.

racer, your post made me smile. plus 10 pts for racer.

I took a very lovely pair of $$ Nike sneakers from a guy who stole my speakers.

Sounds like a charity auction:

“Sneakers for Speakers!”

Heh!
I didn’t even think about that way.
That’s my MO…piss me off and your shoes may go missing. :wink:

Someone got a real good deal at the Good Will. :stuck_out_tongue:

Sexual conduct with a minor. She was only a week too young and I was only a couple of years over the legal age of consent myself, but technically, it was illegal.