No, it’s worse than that. She’s claimed that even the offer of a handshake is offensive.
I totally understand not wanting to accept one or being put out by somebody insisting on one, but finding offense at the mere offer, especially in Western society, is fucking nuts.
If she wants to be offended by that, fine, but by the same token, nobody should have to respect that position at all or defend it. Maybe there’s a fuzzy line in what cultural differences we should abide and shouldn’t abide, but this is definitely way over even that fuzzy line.
Hell, I’m from an Asian background. Handshakes are a relatively new thing, as is any physical contact. But you know what is ALSO part of that culture? Accepting a friendly act in good faith, even if it doesn’t match your own beliefs. You have to respect other people’s beliefs and norms if you want them to accept your own.
We have a detailed policy against sexual harassment that forbids implied aggression or “guilting” someone into physical contact though it doesn’t get more explicit than that and such matters are usually decided on a case by case basis. It does state that repeated attempts at physical contact with another person who has already said no is a form harassment and grounds for termination.
You don’t got to touch a palm to read it. Every male client I have every done a hand reading on has really loved the array of alchemy tools I sometimes use on them. Over time I started using them when I work with women because they were requested so often.
Not particular, but we all work with people we don’t like or think are idiots at some point in our careers. I rather think that is a part of the human experience. What angers me intensely and where I think many of these women are gender traitors is their unwillingness to support women who don’t want to casually touch men. Simple put call when they call me a prude, when they try to put my job in jeopardy because I won’t imitate their casual attitude about sex and body integrity, hell yes, I’ll call them whores and a lot worse (because I honestly don’t find whore that insulting a term , it just means a woman accepts money for sex.)
Sounds like a good policy. If you decline a handshake offer (whether the question is verbal or by the common gesture of an open hand extended well short of touching), and they insist or repeat the question, then they are being jerks and should be disciplined.
No, I am not a alchemist, but sometimes when doing a reading I use some pretty little silver tools largely associated with medieval alchemy to entertain the client and make them more comfortable.
And just like how “whore” is not such an insulting term for you, but it may be considered very insulting by others, many women see a lack of a handshake offer (or a verbal request for a handshake) as insulting or offensive or discomfiting, even though you feel differently.
Which is why I wouldn’t use the term unless someone else has already started throwing insults. However, if someone else wants to be an immature brat and bring the street into the office, I am not going to back down and cower in a corner.
That seems reasonable. Hopefully you recognize that this is why some men offer handshakes (without forcing any touch) to women – because they have good reason to believe that to ask verbally, or to not offer it at all, is offensive/insulting/discomfiting to some women. It can be hard to navigate different cultures, but many of us sincerely try to do our best but nonetheless will sometimes inadvertently offend or insult someone.
Listen you fucking moron, nobody here has a problem with you not wanting to shake hands with men (or anyone else, for that matter). What people have a problem with is the notion that it’s somehow insulting for a man to even OFFER his hand to a woman. THAT is what pisses people off. That you somehow find it an imposition to say, “I’m sorry, but I don’t shake hands”, and want the majority to adher to an obscure (in this culture) practice is simply fucking insane.
Whose says this is the only thing I am adamant about. Heck, I would like to make rape a capital crime. It bothers me so much because it’s a way of conditioning women to accept unwanted physical contact.
Listen you fucking misogynist, what you have a problem with is the idea that men should be responsible in their actions toward women. In all matters involving physical contact it behooves the person seeking to touch the other to obtain clear and definite permission first. Nonverbal communication simply isn’t going to be accurate enough. Plenty of people can intimidate and threaten with a smile.
Totally agree – forcing touching is always unacceptable, for a handshake or anything else. Thankfully, the handshake offers (which, again, I offer because to do otherwise, including to ask verbally, would offend/insult/discomfit many women) can be refused very easily.
Different cultures are hard, but many of us really try to do our best and don’t force touching on anyone.
In my experience because a certain type of male entitlement and misogyny refusals frequently result in awkward public scenes, far more discomforting than a mild question and not without drawing unwanted attention to the woman. In situations where public touching is involved it is always best to err on the side of caution and not touch or imply touching. A quick question might momentarily annoy some women though honestly never anywhere in the world I have been have I ever encountered a woman that found it bad that a man believed her consent was necessary. Creating a scene, or worse forcing contact on a woman who believes it is wrong could have intensely negative consequences for her. You are placing her in a position where she has to choose between a job necessary to support herself and her family and whoring her body out, breaking her marriage vows, etc.
In my years of working with battered women I have seen some evil cases. It doesn’t excuse the abuser of his crimes, but people should consider how their actions may affect other people.
