First off it depresses everyone around you. Happy people won’t hang out with you because you make them depressed. You have to hang out with more depressed people, and let me tell you something: it is depressing.
You can not really tell everyone your problem. Many people won’t understand you. Specifically the ones that are not depressed and the ones who have been depressed and don’t want to become depressed again so they stay away from sad people.
For social outcasts it is cool to be depressed. Depression itself is not cool. There is an inherent problem that goes along with non-conformity and I don’t like it.
Well, I’ve never been depressed, so I’ll admit I don’t know what it’s like. But I do hope you feel better. I mean, what else can I say, you know? Anyway, I think you’ll be surprised at how well other Dopers may understand what you’re going through. I’m always amazed at the variety on this board.
A big problem with the modern “PC” world is that it encourages dishonesty. People believing one thing (that bloke’s fat 'cause he eats too much and never does any exercise) and being “forced” to say another. It’s a terrible basis for any relationship worth the name to develop on.
One reason why honesty is so important is that there is potential for healing in the truth, but no such potential in dishonesty, however “nice” it might be. When someone disses you or tells you you’re faking it, he is showing you the basic dignity of engaging with you, of acknowledging your personhood. It is those who ignore (especially deliberately, having thought about it and decided they will not help you by acknowledging you) who do the most damage. Silence is the greatest weapon.
No one changes quickly. Most never change at all (for the better). Look inside yourself if you don’t believe me. As the ancients said, “Know Yourself and Follow the God”.
This is very true, and it’s very bad. It means that you have to work hard to make sure that somewhere in your collection of friends there are at least two or three reliable, depression-resistant people, who if you don’t call them, they still call you.
I know this from personal experience, but fortunately, as the depression-resistant type. Hope to keep it that way, by dealing with problems early and often.
I find the best way of dealing with depression is dragging people out of them by their hairs. Get them to exercise. And seriously interfere with their negative spiral thinking. Of course, if they’re already on drugs, that helps too …
I like a little booklet, also, by Dr. Robertson called Natural Prozac. It’s short and sweet, and written by a professional writer who is not Dr. Robertson (very clever idea, more people should do that). This book describes some basic fundamentals of what goes on in your brain in terms of neurotransmitters and what natural foods and activities influence these in a good or in a bad way. I found it very useful and enlightning. Highly recommended.
His previous book, the one that apparently made him famous (Optimal Living or something) also sounds interesting, but I haven’t seen it yet.
Not only did this not work on me, I found it damned insulting as well. Depression for me was a PHYSICAL condition. Telling a clinically depressed person to snap out of it is the same as telling a diabetic the same thing. Exercise? People don’t get depressed when they don’t exercise, they stop exercising when they get depressed.
You are depression resistant. Lucky you. You can’t stand in my shoes, and neither can Roger Thornhill stand in his “fat bloke”'s shoes. But go on and feel superior about it. I know you all will anyway.
I’m so sick of this attitude “I don’t have any weight and/or mental problems, so obviously I’m possessed of some virtue of which you fatties and loonies are bereft.”
Whatever. We’ve been through this a million times on this board. I don’t feel like sitting through another shitstorm. I’m outta here.
Jesus. I am emphatically not a depression-resistant person, but this is just childish. What do you expect people to do? I guess you’d be happier if they just said “You’re right, I can’t stand in your shoes! What was I thinking, trying to help you? So long!”
The people around us want to help, and they usually do it the best way they know how. Obviously they shouldn’t minimize what we go through, and it gets frustrating to be misunderstood, but would you rather they just said “I can’t deal with this,” and went away? “You’re bringing me down. Call me when you’re feeling better, sadsack!”
Hey, I’ve seen this before. It was Eve’s reaction to my comments on transsexuality. A typical case of “Let’s read what I expect to read rather than what’s being said”.
What you misread was that the things are mentioned something I can do to help depressed people. There’s a successful therapist in my fathers’ old practice who takes his patients jogging. The patients don’t have the will to go jogging, so he lends them his. Do you catch my drift?
Depression is something very few people can get out of by themselves. But depressed people tend to isolate themselves which makes things a lot worse. That’s why I stressed the importance of pro-active friends who look you up when they don’t hear from you. I do actually talk from experience.
And I did mention the 'of course, if they’re on drugs that helps too … ’ seriously, even if I wrote it light-heartedly.
Honestly, I said no such thing. I hate depression, and I’ve had two incredibly strong friends end up there. I sometimes think it’s my lack of strength and/or discipline that prevents me from getting depressed, because if I don’t like something I give up a lot sooner than they do. They’ve shown me that that is, at least, not always a bad thing. But they’ve shown me also that the strongest people can have lots and lots of bad luck and there’s only so much you can take. The only advantage of my attitude of dealing with problems early and often, is that if you don’t deal with them but endure them, they might escalate all at the same time. That … really … sucks.
Is it only me, or did anyone else find the “fatties and loonies” comment to be hysterical? I instantly got this picture of a lot of really overweight people and criminally insane people in a big room at a clinic wearing hospital gowns and slippers and duking it out with one another.
Okay, so (as I’ve mentioned on this message board before) I had a gastric bypass in October. I’m also on Prozac. So I guess in a way, I’m a fatty and a loony. And it is true…I think that depression is tougher to deal with than people without it realize and many (but not all) of them are very…well…brutal about refusing to understand.
Now, on the other hand, I also think it’s your responsibility to take care of yourself by any means necessary. Thus, the reconstruction to my digestive system and the drugs I ingest. But it’s a little harsh to blame someone who can’t quite manage those committments.
I’m depressed about my circumstances, I don’t think it is a physical problem. Well, my circumstances have been messed up since forever so I don’t really know if I’ll stop being depressed once they change.
I think the first step of getting out of depression is realising you’re depressed. I went through a 4 month or so stint where I cried more than once a day, and I did not realise anything was wrong. Then you gotta make some changes in your life, a dramatic change to just get you to start the ball rolling. Start up habits that require you getting out and about. Try to be alone as little as possible. Find something funny in each day. This site might help. Find some way to express yourself. Start up a livejournal and just blabber on about your day, draw, anything.
I am pretty much anti-anti-depressants. All they gave me was an avenue to suicide.
All IMHO, YMMV, $0.02, etc etc
Hey, not to pry, but maybe you should tell us more about your circumstances. Because here’s what I think (and it’s worth exactly what you paid for it): When you are depressed, you feel powerless and at the mercy of your circumstances. Which, sometimes you are. However, an outsider might be able to see how YOU are really in charge of your circumstances and how you can start to change them.
