Hmmm. What you appear to have is a subspecies of Homo sapiens, Homo habitatusnotmine, originally categorized as Homo sofa lad, but that identification is considered obsolete in most learned communities. Hhnm (as we affectionately like to call him) is both hunter and gatherer. An appealing set of social mores and behaviors has led to the success of the species. Rudimentary mating rituals include the amassing of plant material to the nest of a likely female of the species. Use of available nearby tools to impress the female and make it more likely that Hhnm will be able to rest in her nest is also common.
Researchers have been able to subdivide this category into even finer divisions: Homo homersimpsons; Homo nojobbasementdweller, Homo failuretolaunch and Homo joesixpack are among these. More research is needed to discover the reasons Homo successfulwealthyandgoodlooking and Homo mensch are struggling for habitat and appropriate mates. There is one theory that Homo metrosexual has become essentially a dead end on the evolutionary scale, leaving more resources and females for the “cruder” specimens within the species.
Have you thought of contacting your local zoo? They often need specimens such as yours for new exhibits.