You are one brave and exceedingly cool woman. Still, I’m a little worried about your safety.
For me to be in danger, he’d have to stop playing WoW, so I think it’s all good. 
I dunno, but I think he’s kind of growing on me. I shall dub him Couch Dude Who Is Not Terribly Good at Guitar Hero But Has Good Taste in Movies. It’s kind of long, though, so maybe just “Couch Dude” for short.
He plays WoW over a wireless connection? Weak.
For the Horde?
We need more details on Couch Dude. Come on, CaerieD, you’re our only hope!
If he’s harmless and doesn’t eat too much, well, others also keep harmless critters around that don’t eat too much. Could be that you’d find that he could be trained to chase (or at least remove) unwanted smaller critters.
Could be that if anyone interrupts him, he’ll break off what he’s doing and make threatening growls until they go away.
If you pet him nicely, could be he’ll get the idea that if he pets you the right way, he’ll get petted more often.
In short, sounds like there’s promise here. Good luck.
I have one of these too - maybe it’s a midwestern thing?
Mine has moved to the basement, tho. And he doesn’t play WoW but he posts a lot on MySpace.
Soon we’ll be having posts from **Couch Dude **wondering how he can get CaerieD out of “his” apartment.
Personally, I found the OP a delightful poem
Or into his pants.
Step one of my evil plan to take over the world is a success! Now to flood the world with Couch Dudes (Mark 2)! Ha Ha Ha HA HA HAHA! HA! HA!
Couch Dude has left the building, and taken his computer with him.
He didn’t take the Squirt he’d been keeping in the fridge, though.
He said that “next time” he’s going to bring a tree.
My seventeen year old niece–who lives with me–and I know him through her boyfriend, though I can honestly say I don’t know him that well.
He’s in his mid-twenties, over six feet tall, of Asian extraction, no visible tattoos or piercings, talks about “epic” things a lot.
He clearly has some sort of large stash of ornamental plants.
Anyone lost a Couch Dude matching that description?
Are they ornamental, or pharmacological?
Those are a dime a dozen; you’ll need to provide a better description if you wish him to be claimed. Any distinguishing marks or tattoos?
Wait…he brought a desktop computer?
A laptop I can see, but a desktop? Really?
AND plants?
Maybe he’s secretly a door-to-door salesman, and this is a long-term pitch.
You can construct a weapon. Look around you, can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?
But what is he selling?
The plants are purely ornamental. Very pretty and lush, too. Maybe he has a greenhouse at someone else’s house.
No distinguishing marks, though he does have Julius Caesar’s hair. And he wears a visor.
Yes, it really is a desktop computer. Large flatscreen monitor, a flexible keyboard that can be rolled up, an optical mouse, and a tower.
He hasn’t tried to sell me anything.
Yet.
He took a Squirt in your fridge? Whuh?
No, he left a Squirt in her fridge.
Umm… When he comes back tell him not to bring pie.
Unless he washes his hands first.
And it’s still in a box.
Ewww.
What is she going to do with a lathe? Turn him into some nice decorative table legs?