I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it… I just got my very first piece of genuine hatemail. (It was an e-mail as opposed to a scented and wax sealed letter, but it’s the thought that counts.)
It was for this letter to the editor in the newspaper of the college where I work. (Supposedly the Atlanta Journal Constitution printed a shorter version of it, but I can’t find it online; that letter is a slash & burn synopsis of the rant published here. I’m guessing it’s from a student as the e-mail address contains numbers that are most likely a d.o.b. (the e-mail address is monkey****85@[major ISP].com in which the first four * would correspond to a month and day). It reads:
Ah, this was so totally unexpected… I don’t know who to thank…
well, of course I want to thank our dear lord Jesus for dying on the cross and setting into motion the bureaucracies that would give the idiots of the world a common purpose long after Rome was dead. And I’d like to thank my parents for telling me to believe in my dreams, which I’m sure they would have said if they had thought of it, except probably for my father. And I’d like to thank Eve because… well, she’s Eve (at least until she quits slumming among mortals and goes back to whatever religion she’s a trickster mother goddess on sabbatical from. And I’d like to thank the members of the academy… this would be Edwards Academy where I graduated from high school and STOP THE MUSIC STOP THE MUSIC… Special thanks to Sid & Marty Kroft and to the gang… oh alright! Thanks, bye.
*I wonder if perhaps he meant to write daggit.
I saw him hanging out with Boxy at a bar not two weeks ago. That’s just the same as admitting it!
Just remember, Sampiro, God can forgive you for being a murderer, and he can forgive you for being a gaywad, but there is no forgiveness for being an annoying robotic dog. He only goes so far.
BTW, I wrote a lengthy and polite response but deleted it unsent. Jesus himself could appear in the sky and tell this type of person “I couldn’t care less what consenting adults do in privacy” and they would find some loophole.
So, Susan Atkins and Tex Watson were “cleansed by the blood of Christ” . . . Sharon Tate was Christ? Jesus Christ appeared as a secretary on The Beverly Hillbillies?
Reply to the idiot and correct his grammar and spelling. Tell him/her, with time, they will be mature enough to truly write a great rant, although not as good as our dear Cervaise.
He works in mysterious ways.
And has a SAG card!
Sampiro, this is just the type of religious nutjob who will jump into a den of lions to convert them to Christianity. Hey, I wonder if the early Christians tried that?
