Let’s face it though, some of them just ain’t pulling their weight.
Cerulean? P’ugh. And the same for it’s insipid twin cornflower.
The sienna brothers, raw and burnt? Feh. They’re brown, brown I say!
Scarlet? As a fever, pretty scary. As a color? Not so much goodly.
Goldenrod? Earwax. Goldenrod sounds better, but it’s still earwax.
Spring green? A pastey imitation of green yellow. Green yellow itself is highly suspect.
You need some colors. The primaries, of course. The wellspring of all crayons: red, yellow and blue. The bedrock, the solid foundation of all colors. Then there are the secondaries. Not as fundamental as the primaries (by definition), but no self-respecting crayon box would be caught dead without orange, green and purple.
Black is important. How could you draw a bear in its cave at night eating an unwary camper without black. Black, the backbone of all crayon based art. You need it for outlines if nothing else.
A good brown is essential. No wussy brown like hazelnut or mocha. If the name of a color is also a Beverage of the Week at a local coffeehouse, you just can’t respect it as a crayon.
That’s the basics. A good set of crayons has red, blue, yellow, orange, green, purple, black and brown. Then they throw in white. How useless is white as a crayon? If you’re coloring on white paper, it’s useless. If you’re coloring on colored paper, the white won’t go down thick enough to cover. It must just be cheap to make. That’s all I can figure.
Now you really want some good colors? You need the big box. The box with the flip top and the sharpener on the back. Crayon Nervana. Yeah, you get lame-assed colors like cadet blue, but you also get
the pinacle of all crayon hues. The epitome of the marriage of wax and pigment. This is the color all other colors want to be. Heck, they should get rid of some of the more questionable colors and give you two… nay, three red oranges. That would be sweet.
But some yob would sustitute orange red. “Oh, the kids won’t know. It’s all the same to them.” Bastards. The kids will know. They’ll know they’ve been cheated, they’ve been shafted. Orange red is an abomination. An affront to the sublime beauty that is red orange.
Crayola® red orange. Accept no substitute.
Don’t get me started on Prang®.