Do you Know Where Brussel Sprouts Come From?
The Ant-Farm Theory
“I for one welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground Brussels sprouts farms.”
**Irreplaceable Instruments in a Band?
Fiona Apple, Fetch the Bolt Cutters**
No one can play the Bolt Cutters like Fiona.
**Quarantine Diversions – What’s the Creepiest Thing in your Museum’s Collection?
The Ant-Farm Theory**
Any good news re: COVID-19?
First confirmed cases of Covid-19 in house cats.
Now that’s mean. A lot of people like cats.
Pandemic opens the door to the mark of the beast in Revelation
What other serious issues is the world not qualified to deal with
Well, the E.U. has specific rules codifying the behavior of the beast in Revelation, so there’s nothing to worry about.
Who is not working?
Essential workers
Uh oh!
Why is toilet paper always measured in bizarre non-euclidean formats?
So … about black holes
I do not want to go there.
Perfect Name For a Gay Bar.
Switching Bodies
Why am I getting ads for…
When did you last pay with cash since this began?
If you always paid with cash, you’d get fewer targeted ads!
** 20 Years on the SDMB - almost half my life
Everyone around you is dying
Well, guess I’m gonna retire now…
**
So … about black holes
Are bidets really better than toilet paper?
Do you have post-coronavirus vacation plans?
Well, guess I’m gonna retire now…
** Perfect Name For a Gay Bar.
Snakes Alive! Are you afraid of snakes? **
Very old food , still good?
Using 25 Year Old Cotton Balls and Swabs.
They’re delectable served en croute.
** Behaviours still done though they’re no longer needed
Double Space After a Period**
** Do animals generally prefer salty and sweet tastes, like humans?
Goldfish food, present and 1800**
Goldfish in 1800 didn’t survive very long in captivity until they figured out they needed to add salty and sweet tastes to their food.
It says “Perishable. Keep refrigerated” but what could possibly be perishable in this coffee bottle?
Goldfish food, present and 1800
The 1800s-style “goldfish food” might be a wee bit past its expiration date.
That “too late” feeling
Are bidets really better than toilet paper?
If you’re too late, neither is going to do the job. Best hop in the shower.
**Are bidets really better than toilet paper?
Overcoming Solipsism**
I Poop, Therefore I Am.
But does anything else truly exist? Besides my bidet, that is.
** It says “Perishable. Keep refrigerated” but what could possibly be perishable in this coffee bottle?
Very old food , still good?**
Uh, thanks for the invitation, but we’ve got other dinner plans.