Tabernouche! I was just coming in to tag them with “What we have here is failure to communicate!”
** I, a 39-year-old man, just learnt how to shave properly
Holy fuck I need a haircut**
Did you just buy a mirror, or something?
Gifts you’d rather not get
Boomer Brain
That depends on whether the gift is metaphorical or literal.
How much money have you burned on a girlfriend?
How does Trump compare to typical narcissists?
I hear that he took Melania to a Dairy Queen drive-through, so he’ll open his wallet now and then.
** Gifts you’d rather not get
What is your preferred floor mop?**
I’d rather not get any floor mop as a gift, thanks all the same.
Suggest a dog breed for us.
Gifts you’d rather not get
So I guess the High-Frequency Terrier, the Randomly-Triggered Chihuahua, the Ypres Digger Collie, the Long-Duration All-Weather Husky, the Sir Chewalot Beagle, or the Omni-Drooling Mastiff are right out?
Blue Angels just completed their flyby!
Beck and Betsy the Beagle see a bad, bad, bad thang!
Sounds you don’t want to hear
Your dog frantically barking at airplanes?
** How much do you tip the grocery delivery guy?
Overcoming Solipsism**
I gave him money
so
Even if he’s a hallucination, part of the phaneron, I have less of it
so
that hurts me, even if only in a small way
so
I can feel the pain
so
this is a real effect
but
I can make it go away if I retrieve my money, which should be easy if he does not exist
but
the money is not here. It is gone
and
that can’t be the case if I simply put the money aside
therefore
the delivery boy exists, and I’m not the only thing or being in the universe!
What’s the Difference Between an Exorcism and a Prayer of Exorcism?
Why do Republicans want to end the corona virus restrictions?
If you look real closely, both Bill DeBlasio and Gretchen Whitmer have a pair of tiny horns…:eek:
Another bizarre gardening accident
RIP Roy Horn of Sigfried & Roy
He tripped over a tiger lily?
**Has the US Armed Forces ever come close to mutiny against their Commender-In_Chief? Could it happen?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?**
Great questions of the day.
** Atheists in America
Scary goddam thing!**
:eek:
Depending on the circumstances, how difficult is it to live a financially stable life?
Any1 in US Who Has Bought Unicum?
I was financially stable until my so-called friend introduced me to Unicum. The first time is free, and then after that, let’s just say unicorns have expensive tastes.
** A Low-Gee House made from Pee
I wonder if that would work?**
** The mystery behind buying a hot tub
Diagnose a Toilet**
Hey, you’re a urologist, you’re supposed to handle plumbing issues. :mad:
**What’s exciting at your birdfeeders?
Ocular migraine**
Birdwatcher 1: Oooh! Ohh!
Birdwatcher 2: What i it? What do you see?
Birdwatcher 1 (handing over binoculars): Look! Look over there! Next to the Tinea versicolor. I swear it’s an Ocular migraine! You can tell by the aura around the eyes!
Gifts you’d rather not get
"Do you have McDonald’s money?"
I don’t have any, but I’d rather not get any as I rarely eat there.
You’re welcome to a couple dozen books of Green Stamps that I found in the attic.
** Who’s a good boy? Yes, YOU are!
What breed does this dog look like?**
** Well, pretty sure I’m going to lose my job tomorrow…again.
Don’t be Sad that it’s over. Be glad that it happened.
**
What breed does this dog look like?
Old booze
Booze hound.