Counterproposal: put up the text that the Bible actually refers to as “the ten commandments”.
Let the so-called Biblical Christians figure out how to observe the Feast of Ingathering or cut down Asherah poles and worry about whether they’re redeeming the firstborn of an ass with a lamb or failing to bring their menchildren thrice a year to appear before the LORD.
But what if it was in the city? See what I’m getting at?
Hence the Jewish definition of bastardry (mamzerut) - a child of unmarried parents is not considered a bastard, nor is one whose father is married to someone else; bastards are only children whose mother is married to someone other than their father, or the products of incest.
The part that’s relevant to this thread is that in general, the old testament does not consider it problematic for a married man to have sex with a woman other than his wife. In fact, he can marry a whole harem, like King Solomon.
Has anyone mentioned, yet, that the Louisiana bill that inspired this thread actually contains eleven commandments?
The Ten Commandments
I AM the LORD thy God.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven images.
Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Thou shalt not kill.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Thou shalt not steal.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his cattle, nor anything that is thy neighbor’s.
IIRC, it’s because the different denominations couldn’t agree on which version of the Ten Commandments to use, so they did a Genesis and spliced two versions together (referring to the number of doublets that appear in Genis and, really, throughout the Pentateuch).
I count 12. Jews generally consider “i am the Lord thy God” to be the first of the ten commandments. I think this is the split:
2 I the LORD am your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, the house of bondage:
3 You shall have no other gods besides Me. 4 You shall not make for yourself a sculptured image, or any likeness of what is in the heavens above, or on the earth below, or in the waters under the earth. 5 You shall not bow down to them or serve them. For I the LORD your God am an impassioned God, visiting the guilt of the parents upon the children, upon the third and upon the fourth generations of those who reject Me, 6but showing kindness to the thousandth generation of those who love Me and keep My commandments.
7 You shall not b-swear falsely by-b the name of the LORD your God; for the LORD will not clear one who swears falsely by His name.
8 Remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath of the LORD your God: you shall not do any work—you, your son or daughter, your male or female slave, or your cattle, or the stranger who is within your settlements. 11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth and sea, and all that is in them, and He rested on the seventh day; therefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day and hallowed it.
12 Honor your father and your mother, that you may long endure on the land that the LORD your God is assigning to you.
13 You shall not murder.
You shall not commit adultery.
You shall not steal.
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
14 You shall not covet your neighbor’s house: you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female slave, or his ox or his ass, or anything that is your neighbor’s.
I still prefer the rational reduction that the late, great George Carlin bequeathed us:
And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments:
First:•THOU SHALT ALWAYS BE HONEST AND FAITHFUL, ESPECIALLY
TO THE PROVIDER OF THY NOOKIE.And second:
•THOU SHALT TRY REAL HARD NOT TO KILL ANYONE, UNLESS,
OF COURSE, THEY PRAY TO A DIFFERENT INVISIBLE MAN
THAN THE ONE YOU PRAY TO.Two is all you need, folks. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn’t mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. As long he included one additional commandment:
•THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF!
Like I have probably already said here, will the kids actually be able to read them?
The Bible literally says “in the city” as opposed to “in the open field”, but this has always been understood as not literal, but as drawing a distinction between situations where someone would’ve heard the woman if she had screamed, or not. It doesn’t actually matter if they’re in city limits or not.
Are you really sure this is one of those passages you want to quibble over? Because, you know, even under the most charitable reading, it’s utterly abhorrent.
In fact, by your reading, it’s actually worse as it expands the area over which a woman can be judicially murdered for failing to scream loud enough while being raped.