Things every Doper should know

[Rysdad]

@Tahssa

… sweet cat (excellent with garlic)…

Don’t over-garlic your sweet and sour cat. It should be lightly spiced so as to not overwhelm that fragrant yet funky feline flavor.

[Farmwoman]

Granting teenagers the privileges of adulthood while allowing them to accept only the responsibilities of childhood leads to Very Bad Things. They may overcome it and become contributing citizens in their thirties, but that’s a testament to human resiliency, not to good parenting.

Rhassoul clay kicks ass. Keep it on hand to for spa quality skin and shiny hair!

And just in case you ever find yourself in this horrifying situation: When a ewe expels her uterus, work fast, keep it moist and warm, wash it with soapy water, and shove it back in. She’ll be fine with a round of antibiotics and live to lamb again.

[Hostile_Dialect]

I just found out something that every Doper should know: in a pinch, refrigerated left-over pasta sauce + habanero sauce to taste + a drop of Blair’s Sudden Death sauce (to jack up the heat without unduly changing the taste) gives you an acceptible salsa substitute.

I think if I can score some cilantro, lime juice, jalapeno sauce (instead of habanero sauce) and Pure Cap (instead of Blair’s Sudden Death) I’ll really be in business. Y’all Dopers will be the first to know, at any rate.

This one may be bordering on opinion, but: the way people from other places talk isn’t “wrong”, it’s just different. Transplants feel awkward enough without constantly being criticized for something they have very little control over. How would you feel if people told you your hair was “too curly” or “too straight” all day long?

@InvisibleWombat

Always credit your source. People who like these just might want to read Time Enough For Love by Robert A. Heinlein to pick up the rest of the wisdom of Lazarus Long.

Thanks! I’ve been meaning to get back into Heinlein for a while–when I moved from DC to San Diego at age 10 my parents’ realtor recommended “Stranger in a Strange Land”, which turned out to be quite appropriate–and now I know where to start.

@WhyNot

If you have to ask if he’s cheating, he probably is.

Corollary: If you’re not cheating and your partner thinks you are, your partner may be cheating.

@WhyNot

If you have to ask if you could be pregnant, get off the goddamn computer and go buy a home pregnancy test at the dollar store!

Related: If you buy a home pregnancy test at the dollar store, and then use it and throw it away, don’t just toss it on top of your bathroom trash can. If you do, every bathroom trip will be a little uncomfortable for your visitors.

Also related: If your toilet is in the bathroom, put your sink in the bathroom too. Not the adjacent bedroom. Few decisions are more awkward than “It’s 2 in the morning–do I wash my hands and walk in on my two best friends sleeping or worse, or do I write it off and go back to sleep with germy hands?”

@Tahssa

I only buy things with cash. I wait until I have enough extra cash to buy my toys ( being electronic or otherwise). Over time I bought 5 Force FX Lightsabers. I saved and waited.

I bought the two sabers to make Darth Maul’s LightStaff. An Anakin Skywalker Ep. 3 Lightsaber, an Obi-wan Kenobi Ep. 3 Lightsaver and a Mace Windu Ep. 3 one. I plan on bying the Yoda one from Ep. 2 & 3.

Here’s something every Star Wars lover should know: Spirit (the Halloween store chain) sells those lightsabers for $100. Everything at Spirit is 50% off on November 1st. You can do the math from there.

[enigm4tic]

All the love in the world can’t stop somebody from not trusting themselves: Only time and maturity can do that.
Don’t fence with machetes. Especially not at night, in the rain, on railroad tracks. (I guess this should be in the "things I wish I didn’t know from experience thread, but hey)
Oh, this is something every doper should know:
The little firey balls that Roman Candles fire BOUNCE, it’s really cool.

[fachverwirrt]

@McNew

-‘too’ meaning ‘also’ is ‘too’. ‘two’ as a number 2 is ‘two’. All the rest are ‘to’.

Well, not quite. “Too” meaning “excessively” or “extremely” is also “too”.

Oh, and “read the fucking thread before you post”. Which is either very topical, or it’s ironic, since I really just skimmed it.

[BrainGlutton]

1. Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

2. Some things are attributable to malice.

[Farmwoman]

@fachverwirrt

Oh, and “read the fucking thread before you post”. Which is either very topical, or it’s ironic, since I really just skimmed it.

Too right. And since I’ve now read it, I’ll add:

If male: unless you know, love, and trust your partner, don’t have unprotected sex.
If female: unless you know, love, and trust your partner, and are ready and willing to be pregnant, don’t have unprotected sex.

I think every Doper needs to know that there needn’t be such distinctions between males and females. Despite the obvious biological advantages to being the male in a situation of unwanted pregnancy, the male is, indeed, just as pregnant as his partner.

And if you’re not going to take the trouble to inform yourself, do us all a favor and stay home on election day.

I also think every Doper, myself included, may need a refresher course in self-righteous judgmentalism so we can help identify these uninformed voters. What gives it away? Do they shuffle like zombies? Drool? Loudly proclaim their unwillingness to read newspapers? Or is their lack of knowledge simply determined by the way they cast their vote?

I’m sure it’s something I don’t know, and perhaps I should.

[BrainGlutton]

@Farmwoman

I think every Doper needs to know that there needn’t be such distinctions between males and females. Despite the obvious biological advantages to being the male in a situation of unwanted pregnancy, the male is, indeed, just as pregnant as his partner.

Only if she knows where to find you, dude.

[Projammer]

@InvisibleWombat

Always credit your source. People who like these just might want to read Time Enough For Love by Robert A. Heinlein to pick up the rest of the wisdom of Lazarus Long.

I wanted to see who would pick it up first.

I actually pulled these from “The Notebooks of Lazarus Long”, a compilation of *all * of the quotes attributed to LL.

[Peanuthead]

Eighty percent of*** everything * ** is shit.
-Theodore Sturgeon-

[Nava]

You can do it!

Or not, whatever you fancy. Letting other people’s needs and wants direct your life leads to pain, anguish and depression: please don’t.

[AskNott]

Tight pants are like a cheap hotel; there’s no ballroom. --Mr. Barnhardt, my 8th grade history teacher.

At least once, order a sandwich with everything, and when you get it, feign horror. “I asked for everything. Where’s the jalapenos?” You will either amuse the waitron, or you’ll provide her with a “you won’t believe what some fool said” story. Maybe both.

While two wrongs don’t make a right, three rights do make a left. (not my own line)

The difference between unclear policy and nuclear policy is in the way you use the UN. --Biff Rose

[Gary_Robson]

@Farmwoman

I also think every Doper, myself included, may need a refresher course in self-righteous judgmentalism so we can help identify these uninformed voters. What gives it away? Do they shuffle like zombies? Drool? Loudly proclaim their unwillingness to read newspapers? Or is their lack of knowledge simply determined by the way they cast their vote?

I simply can’t think of a legal, ethical, and moral way to determine whether another voter is significantly educated to vote on any given issue. That’s why I phrased it as a plea to decide for yourself rather than a desire for some societal control. If you can’t name the candidates or identify any of the issues they support or oppose, you aren’t helping anyone by checking a random box on the ballot.

There’s an easy way to determine whether you’re minimally informed when it comes to voting on initiatives, however. If you haven’t actually read the full text of the ballot measure and BOTH the arguments for and against, you shouldn’t be voting on it.

[want2know]

1. Nu-CLE-ar!

2. That which does not kill you makes you stronger.

3. You don’t get to have self-esteem until you’ve actually accomplished something.

4. If a candidate says you should vote for him because he was a “C” student just like you, pull the other lever. People in office are supposed to be smarter than you–that’s why we put them there!

5. Life is too short to stay in a job you hate.

[Autolycus]

The Pit is a double edged sword. Dont be in the kitchen if you dont want your underoos to catch on fire.