That people I don’t know will respond to emails I never sent with information I never asked for and frankly, don’t want to know.
I have also learned that apparently I have an evil twin who sends me spam using my own user name.
That an email with “good times” in the subject is apparently capable of sending an electrifing jolt of enegry though my computer, rendering it into a flaming hunk of scrap if I should so much as look at it.
Someone set us up the bomb.
I’m highly thought of by rich people in Nigeria.
I can lose excess pounds quickly and easily without diets or exercise.
My PC may be infected with a virus.
MLM is a Guaranteed Cash Generating System!!
It’s easy to eliminate my debt and build a better future.
My penis is aparently way too small.
I can get just about anything if I’ll just Click Here.
That I can access thousands of porn websites FOR FREE, and they ask that I give them a VISA or Mastercard number (which they would never, ever bill) ONLY as proof I am over 21.
Though I live on the top floor of a five-story rental building, many people wish to give me a killer deal on septic tank installation and care.
My lack of an emotional response to, or believe in the truth of, several hundred inspirational e-mails, and my subsequent refusal to forward them to anyone, makes me a godless, heartless and generally worthless person.
If I wanted to, I could have a cock so big it scares people. I guess I’d have to carry it around in a jar and show it to people, which I admit would be pretty scary.
Buying Human Growth Hormone over the Internet is completely safe and economical to boot.
Technology has been developed that will save the lives of little children born without bodies. However, if their parents are very poor and can’t afford to pay for a good replacement body, the child will have to make do with a burlap bag for a body until such funds can be raised.
My good friends Janet Lewis, Alfred Thompson, and Ashley Crane all want to sell me a trips and pornography. All I have to do is sign over my house and give my credit card number.
There are thousands of dollar in my name waiting to be claimed! All I have to do is give my credit card number as proof of my identity.
You cannot mention anything on the SDMB that is so obscure that another Doper hasn’t heard of it.
There is nothing so weird that someone somewhere isn’t willing to use it in an erotic act (and e-mail you pictures).
You can buy and/or sell anything on ebay.
God hates fags, lesbians, Jews, Muslims, New Yorkers, Americans, Christians, Native Americans, Brits, Scots, blacks, whites, Asians, polo players, baseball players, engineers, the government, actors, artists, artistes of any kind, dentists, the Olsen twins, Stephen King, Elton John, and everyone else in the entire universe.
That I and I only I (except for my predecessor in this job) have won 50 free Powerball tickets.
That many people who I have long believed to be friends of mine believe that I wish to read around long-winded jokes and unfunny parodies.
That psychics are able to predict my future via email without even meeting me.
That a real estate broker in Florida believes it would be mutually beneficial if he reciprocates web links with the small, non-profit, Midwestern organization I work for.
