As most of you know, welbywife and I went north to visit Toronto over the weekend and had a chance to meet the lovely Lissla in her hometown of Toronto. It was an informative little trip. We learned a lot about Canada. We learned about other places too. The first thing we learned about Canada is that Canadians love to give directions. To anywhere. But I get ahead of myself.
Our journey started Wednesday night after work. We had planned to leave on Thursday after welbywife got out of class, but after 7 years of marriage I’ve manged to corrupt her, so she skipped her last day of class and we left Wednesday instead. We stopped in Pittsburgh that night and stayed at Red Roof Inn. That night we learned our first thing: You can order Red Roof Inn linens, curtains, furniture, and shower rods and create your own little Red Roof Inn room at home. We’re not gonna do that, but its nice to know there’s an option for decorating if we ever need it.
The next morning we stopped by the National Aviary and looked at the birds. This is a very, very nice place. It’s well designed and has a great host of informative displays. Pictures are forthcoming. After the aviary we continued our trek north, well, west at this point, to Erie, PA. Erie is a neat little town, and we stopped there for a late lunch at The Sloppy Duck Saloon. There were little baby ducks in a box out front, and the place was totally empty. So we had a nice lunch with a very, very, VERY attentive waitress. She was new to her job. I know this because her nametag said “Hello, I’m waiting for the manager to make me a nametag.” So that meant she was new. Or that the manager was lazy as heck. Or that she forgot her real name tag. Or that she was deliberatly deceiving us. Hmm, the last one has possibilities.
After linner we hopped back into the car and headed north again, making it to Niagra around 6:00PM. It was kind of neat, because there was almost no one there. Not surprising really, since it was a Thursday evening, but it was nice to have the falls mostly to ourselves.
Niagra Falls = Something you should see. It’s beautiful. Pictures are forthcoming.
After wandering around the falls we decided that we’d head north to Toronto that night, since it was still earlyish and we weren’t realy tired. So we stopped for gas. This is where I learned my first fact about Canada. As I was gassing up, a nice Canadian man said:
“How’s Virginia, eh? I just come from there.”
“Really, us too. We’re headed north to Toronto tonight.”
“Oh yeah? Eh? Well what you need to do it cross over the bridge up here to Canada, then get on the QEW and go straight. That’ll take you right to Toronto.”
And more along this line. Suffice to say that we got better directions from him about how to get to our hotel that we got from Mapquest. Then we crossed the border and I learned that the border guard are grumpy types, not typically nice Canadians. I think they might import thier border guards directly from New York City. I also learned that distances and speeds are in kilometers, and that 100 kilometers per hour just isn’t fast enough. welbywife learned that I like to say kilometer. Kilometer. Kilometer. Kilometer. See? Fun!
And that night we made it to Toronto. We were both tired, so we just checked into the Days Inn, which does NOT allow you to order room decorations online.
Friday Morning the wife took me for a stroll. It was during this stroll that I learned my next series of Canadian facts.
- The TTC is the transportation authority for buses and subways and stuff.
- A TTC map bears no relation to reality.
- If you need directions in Toronto, just stand on the street with a map open. Within seconds, hordes of Canadians will descend upon you, offering directions to where you want to go.
That day we wandered to the Distillery Historic District , which was closed. Except for the coffee shop. So we had coffee. We then walked around most of Toronto, because the TTC map is not only different from reality, it is a minor form of evil.
That afternoon I went to the premeire of Darkon the Movie. Before the movies we did a demo and a forced march to the theater. I didn’t realize I’d be forced to march, but I got all dressed up and marched anyway. Pictures are forthcoming. It was pretty neat. We’d march along, do a little bit of fighting, then keep marching. Lots of people wanted pictures of us, so we did a lot of stopping and posing for cameras. Then someone asked for our autographs, which totally amazed me, so we signed an autograph for her and marched to the Bloor Theater
And that’s all you get, since its getting late, and the early MMPers are probably stressed. This post will continue after I’ve had coffee. The rest of the MMP is forthcoming. And the pictures. They’re forthcoming too.