Thing The First: The first 1/4 of the bottle of tasty cabernet sauvignon went into making a marinade. This does not mean it is immediately necessary to drink the final 3/4 of the bottle.
Thing The Second: When you are drunk, your “inventive cooking concepts” are “inedible and disgusting.”
Thing The Third: Instant mashed potatoes can be good, yes. But when you replace the water with beer and stir in a bunch of Hershey’s Kisses to make “choco-beertaters,” it is not a Good Thing.
Thing The Fourth: Yes, the choco-beertaters are nasty. But no matter how firmly a ball you pack them into, they will splatter magnificently upon impact.
Thing The Fifth: Your fiancee did not like the choco-beertaters as a food product; she will like them far less as a projectile.
Thing The Sixth: Choco-Beertaters are a bitch to get out of shag carpeting.
Thing The Seventh: Well, at least the chicken was good.