What I learned last night

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

A couple of months ago, I started a thread talking about something new I learned (specifically - not all flours work in the same way.)

Well, since I had another cooking experiment go awry I figured I should start another thread.
My wife likes Jello. A lot. I usually end up making it while she is cooking something else. I usually make a double batch, combining various flavors for an interesting taste and color. Yesterday, I had the water all boiled for the double batch, went looking for the jello. Unfortunately, I only found 1 box (cherry). So, I figured if I put one box of jello in with double the amount of water, what’s the worst that could happen? Sure, it may taste a little diluted but it won’t come out weird.

Unfortunately, along with tasting a little weird it also turn into a slimy, cottage cheese like clumpy version of it’s true self. Even worse, when a person is carrying this monument to kitchen ineffectivity and stumbles, the liquid does a very nice job of jumping out of the bowl and running onto the countertops, floor, and refrigerator of your parents who are nice enough to let you live in their house rent free while you buy a house.

To sum up. Not enough Jello - Bad. Tasting obviously screwed up Jello - Bad. Tripping with liquid Jello - Bad. The combination of white surfaces and red liquid - Bad. Doing this after everyone else is asleep giving you the chance to clean it up even though your skin turns a rosy pink for work the next day - Priceless.

2

Did you try adding hot buttered gerbils?

3

A gal I work with asked me one time if I would babysit her two daughters (9 and 11), while she and her husband went out.

I agreed, of course.

Well, some weeks earlier my co-worker had brought in some blueberry muffins that the 11-year-old had made, and they were pretty good.

After the parents had been gone for a while, this same daughter said that she’d like to make blueberry muffins.

I told her that I thought it would be a good idea.

Well, at least at was until she made a mistake–she asked if I would help.

After stirring the batter and mix for a while, she said “It’s too soupy.”

I said, “Maybe you just need to stir it a little longer.”

After a few more minutes she said, “It’s still too soupy.”

So, I looked at the directions on the box, and the measuring cup.

Uh-oh!

The box called for two “cups” of water. Two “cups,” that is, not two “measuring cups,” each of which was two cups by itself–and was what I had told her to do.

So I had a brainstorm: We’ll just throw in another batch of muffin mix, and make twice as many!

No dice. That was the last pack.

We ended up having to throw it out.

4

Leaving aside, for now, all the comments one could make about Mr. and Mrs. Mully’s affinity for large batches of Jello…

You missed a perfect opportunity for some kitchen experimentation. My first thought would have been powdered chocolate. You know, Nestle Quik in a box stuff. Pour about one Jello package worth of chocolate powder into the mixture. Maybe two packages worth of chocolate powder, it’s not know for its great congealing ability. Maybe add some of that flour you were talking about to thicken it up. Viola! Imitation chocolate covered artificially cherry flavored Jello gravy! Great on waffles!

No, they don’t let me near the kitchen anymore. Why do you ask?

5

Y’know, Doctor, that probably would taste pretty good, but it wouldn’t be Jello. Matter of fact, I’ve no clue what consistency it would have… My guess would be that it would, in fact, turn out something like gravy.

Complete hijack, BTW, turkey gravy is excellent on waffles.