Things I've learned

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

-“Do”, don’t “try”. If you “try”, you can fail.

-I can love people I don’t like; and I can like people I don’t love.

-If you’re fool enough to shoot your mouth off, be man enough to get your ass kicked.

-No matter what planet you’re on, the “Golden Rule” applies.

-For kids, “quantity time” IS “quality time”.

… now for the less etherial…
-french fries are to be eaten at least two at a time.

-there’s no replacement for a cold glass of milk.

-the juvenile court judge has NO sense of humor!

Dr Demento RULES!

102

I’ve learned that if you call that the newspaper hasn’t arrived, it will go “thunk” on the door while you speak. If you don’t call, of course it won’t come at all.

I’ve learned that the best things in life are free, but you still feel better if you have money to throw around when you do them.

I’ve learned that Tide and Time wait for no man. They are registered to Proctor & Gamble and Time-Warner.

I’ve learned that the path of least resistance gets the lightning bolt.

103

This is such a great thread - there are so many new people here who could contribute.

I just have one right now:

You can know someone is not THE ONE even if there are no problems in the relationship and no “good” reason to break up.

104

It is not a good idea to take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.

105

-I’ve learned that putting a wrapped stick of butter in your pocket does not make it soften any faster (don’t ask).

-I’ve learned that even though you consider someone your closest friend, they can still turn around and stab you in the back so quickly it will make your head spin.

-I’ve learned that your parents are almost always right. Almost.

-Waiting until the last minute to do any undesireable task is not the best way to go about it.

106

There is no such thing as too much chocolate.

If someone says that something is “better than sex” pity that person.

The elevator is not falling, it feels like it, but it is NOT.

I am ticklish.

Policemen deserve to be treated with respect.

I STILL like Heavy Metal.

Ther killer is NEVER the buttler.

I am not a plumber.

Oral sex (given and received) is highly entertaining.

The horoscope predicts the beginning of a new romance EVERYDAY.

I can “wink and smile” my way out of almost everything.

When caught in a traffic jam, turn the radio up and sing at your heart’s content.

Hips will never slim down (not even when you’re a size 5).

Giving up meat doesn’t mean you won’t crave it once in a while.

I don’t have to take crap from vendors.

Frozen fish is as hard as diamonds.

I don’t have to like it because it’s popular.

I left home to get an education. I got a diploma but I found out I already had an education.

It’s OK watching cartoons at 31.

I cannot live with the idea that there is no God.

Caffeine is good, Caffeine is my friend. I must obbey Caffeine.

Laxatives should be the last resort.

I am a lousy driver. But it could be worse: I could believe I am a good driver.

30’ish is not really old.

Children are too smart for their own good.

There’s not such thing as “having too many shoes”.

Smoked salmon has the same effect of chocolate when having PMS.

Buy ONLY white towels and linem.

107

I’ve learned a few new things, myself…

Pelican crap smells like fish and is a bitch to get off of clothing and/or hair.

Translators don’t always translate precisely what you say, but you will be held responsible for what they say.

People are different, yet all of us are invariably flawed. As a result, all people will fail us at some point–and we will all fail them.

Snakes can get fat. (Mine is currently on a diet, believe it or not.)

It is extremely dangerous territory to speak about a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend/crush/etc. Even if they are asking your opinion, they don’t necessarily want it–and it can destroy a friendship to give it to them.

Do not add a new fish to a tank without quarantining it first.

No matter how lazy or sick or busy I feel, there is always time to exercise.

Buy new tires before the rainy season starts.

Being fit is more important, and feels better, than being thin.

I will never be a size 6, and it’s okay.

Friendships don’t need to be for forever.

108

Life does not punish evil or reward goodness enough.

109

Misery inspires great art,
but joy is still better.

110

Watching cartoons is a good stress reliever.

When you buy something, you should always look for quality instead of price. Sometimes the thing that cost more to buy can save you money in the long run.

Some people you just don’t want to argue with. Even if you’re right, sometimes you just have to let it go.

It’s OK to give your kids chores to do. It teaches responsibility.

“It was God’s will” and “They’re in a better place now” are not the things to say after a tragic event.

Ann Landers and Dear Abby don’t know anything about giving good advice. When somebody questions their judgement, they totally back down.

No matter how hard you try not to, you’ll always end up acting just like your parents.

111

BUT IGNORING THE DIFFERENCES CAN GET YOU IN TROUBLE–ESPECIALLY WHEN DEALING WITH PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT CULTURES–SIMILAR DOES NOT MEAN SAME.

112

-Living alone isn’t all too bad.

-So long as the trash is taken out before the whole place smells.

-Doing things alone isn’t too bad either; sometimes waiting for people to join you means that you’ll never get it done.

-Going out and meeting new people is a good, if slightly nerve-wrecking thing

-It’s better to be single than to try to be with someone you couldn’t give a rat’s ass about.

-Treat people working in service jobs nicely, it isn’t the greatest job on earth. It also helps things get done easier and more pleasantly for everyone.

-Sleeping with someone you aren’t the least bit attracted to while half drunk isn’t fun at all.

-My family may drive me batshit insane sometimes, but at least they’re there for me.

-Lying on the grass on a cool spring day cannot be underestimated.

Agreed. We’re too squishy :D.

113

Geez, MOLLYBIRD, welcome to the boards and all, but try not to voodoo the dead threads back to life. :smiley:

Seriously, though, in MPSIMS we generally want the non-active threads over three months old to stay in the ground due to some posters not posting here anymore; old arguments that don’t need to be brought up again; or, ancient viewpoints which no longer apply to active posters. So, I’ll go ahead and close this thread.