The deli here on E 52nd ST has this mysterious item on its menu:
WAIST WAT HER CHUNKY
I also know of a Chinese restaurant in Ireland named Soon Fat
I think the 4th crusade and the Arian heresy is funny in a horrible sort of way.
I’ve also heard a story that Holy Roman Emprorer Barbossa drowned while trying to swim a turkish river with his armor on…because of a bet. He lost.
It’s probably not true but it’s still funny in an evil way.
Nope, sorry, this is really funny. No prize for you.
There’s a Emergency Exit door at work with a sign “Door is Alarmed”. No one else gets it.
Saving Private Ryan… Went to the movie theatre with a bunch of friends. We had sort of vaguely heard about it but had no idea what to expect. You know that scene, in the opening sequence, where the guys are flailing in the water and drowning and all of a sudden, they get shot in the head and stopped flailing?.. Thats right! I burst out laughing at that scene, I literally couldn’t stop. And a full on gut chuckle, not just a snigger. While everybody else was completely deathly silent at what was at that time the most horrifying depiction of war ever to be put on the big screen. EVERYONE could hear me! I had to rush out of the movie theatre and my friends were mortified.
I never actually saw that movie again until about 8 years later. Even today, I can’t stop chuckling through the opening sequence :(.
There was a store in my town called Just Nails. It was located in a strip mall with two car part stores, and a HVAC store. The part of town was near the industrial area. My brother is a mechanic. One day on his way home from work he decided he would stop in at the hardware store over by the truck store. He walked in, and found out it was a place for finger nails, not pieces of pointy metal nails. Imagine a greesy overweight guy walking into a clean nail salon. Looking around then leaving.
Where I work now is a big box on the back of a truck. There is barley enough room to have two people lie down. One door, and you can see everything from the door. For awhile we were required to have 2 people in the box 24x7. With that little space things start to smell. We started to burn a sented candle to cover up the smell. We got in trouble for causing a fire hazard. I tried to convence my boss that we should put up a fire exit sign, and draw up a fire evacuation plan, and then keep buring the candle.
-Otanx
That’s a well-worn family joke for my family now… “Somebody calm that door down!” etc…
I have to say I have been saying “Suppose U Drive!” and giggling to myself ever since I read this thread. I have no idea why but that tickles my funny bone.
Okay, this one made me burst out laughing. I’ve never seen a door marked that way. Usually it’s “Do not open, Alarm will sound.” Now I’m going to spend the rest of the day wondering what upset the door so much.
I’m beginning to think no New Yorker ever laughs at bad signs. Maybe those that aren’t too tracked to notice them are too PC to find the humor.
Someplace on W 56th, now gone, used to advertise (in neon no less):
SPAGHETTI
SANDWICHES
DESERT
Something wet, something dry. The perfect meal.
That’s a shame. If only they’d been perspexed, your job would have been well done. 
There was an episode on “Soap” where the General went upstairs with his dog and yelled, “pick up your feet.” (For those who never watched it - the dog no longer lives).
The funniest line in the film “Trainspotting” is, “who the f*&%$ are you?”. The bar scene right before the fight.
Whoa – two ads for ventriloquist dummies and one for “learn ventriloquism!”
That’s comedy gold!
Miss Cactus and I were watching the movie Shogun Assassin on a local theater. There’s a scene where the assassin meets up with the master female ninja and goes “HHHAWWHH! There you are!” or something to the effect. Then they begin fighting.
Obviously, HHHAWWHH! got part of our “samurai” speech, and then it got part of anything we said. Hillarious to us, confusing to others.
I suppose there are one or two in every major city in the US - the one in L.A. is on Wilshire west of Vermont - I refer, of course, to the EQUITABLE BUILDING.
There’s a store here in Chicago (on Montrose near Elston, if you’re interested) that sells attire for observant Muslim women. It’s called “Jilbabs ‘N’ Things”. I find this endlessly hilarious.
I’ve explained the story behind this before, but the story itself isn’t funny. But for whatever reason, the line “not so tough without your lips, are ya?” slays me.
Also, whenever I tell the tale of our adopted cat, I like to mention how she was originally named Chelsea, but we renamed her Kero, so that I can deliver this gem of a line: “It doesn’t matter what we call her. If she could speak she’d just tell us her name was Kunta Kit-tay.”
No one seems to find this nearly as entertaining as I do. And I so hate laughing at my own jokes, especially when I’m the only one laughing. 
The movies Joe Dirt and Kung Pow.
Yeah I drive by this sign everyday too… I live in Blue Ridge, work in Greenville.
That pizza joint ain’t bad either. They used to have this big ass foam deer that people would shoot with arrows. I don’t know why.
Camels. Not the smokes. The humped animals.
It’s because they come prehumped. I don’t know why that is funny but it is.