While on vacation last year, we went through a small town where the high school mascot was a beaver. There were businesses like Beaver Storage, Beaver Cleaners, etc. I’m glad I wasn’t driving… 
Wanted to get this in before the thread gets closed
On a website about people getting back at Nigerian scammers, I came across, ‘There’s an old saying in Oregon, you can take the boy out of the rhino, but that tree won’t make a sound if that nut gets cracked.’
I love it, no one else seems to.
I Know that sign. I took my cousin (from switerland) to Auburn for a visit with my sister who was attending classes there.
She saw the sign and said out loud. “Alabama is so Backwards”
Not seeing the sign I had to ask, then turn around and see for myself.
a funny moment
I will marry you.
Ducks have no rhythm. Therefore, I am a Duck.
Also, I was visiting home in Yellowknife last summer. My friend works at a sign shop.
I drove by <a href=“http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v478/mm8b/hammertime.jpg”>this</a>and
I almost crashed…
crap. my html skills are teh suxxors.
I think the footage of the narcoleptic dobermans and dacshunds is hysterical. They are so happy, romping and playing then one after the other drops - out cold. The assistants wake them up and they romp again until they fall asleep and fall over. I could watch this over and over. They are so happy and having such…clunk!
This one reminds me of what I say whenever asked to open a particularly stuck jar top. Pop the top and say in the deepest voice possible “There ya go, little lady.” Usually to my Mom–she never laughs.
Every year on Mother’s Day, my dad would say to my mom, “Hey! Happy muddah’s day!” And she’d go “Hey! I ain’t ya muddah!”
I don’t know why it’s funny, but it is.
I laugh at the part where the guy’s arm gets blown off, and he picks it up like it’s going to help him run away.
Actually, in that short, Broccoli had an IQ of 10, and “is smartest of vegetables!”
Why, yes, I am a geek. The catchphrase from that short that my fiance and I picked up was “Broccoli!” or “Broccoli is smartest of vegetables!” These only come in handy when discussing broccoli, which is one of his least favorite vegetables.
Someone pulled this line on me once, and I deadpanned back with “no, it doesn’t but it should be anal-LY retentive.” Nobody got it…
On the side of a tool company truck:
“It takes a MIGHTY TOOL to please a pro!”
No shit?! I’m the only person who thinks this is funny.
Back in the late 80’s I was skimming through the paper when I ran across an obituary that I found so amusing that I actually cut it out and carried it around in my wallet for a number of years. The headline simply said, ** Concepta Unguraitis, Mother of the Casimir Sisters**.
Her name sounded like a fertility disease on a soap opera.
And the name “Casimir Sisters” made me think of a bunch of nuns walking around in very soft wool sweaters saying vespers.
My wife thought I was nuts.
My dad used to build fishing rods. Like many other rodbuilders, he had a ‘signature’ wrap – kind of like a clan’s tartan pattern – that he would affix to finished rods. A friend of mine and I were in the basement picking up some stuff for a camping trip, and my dad was working on a fishing rod. My friend saw the box on the work table, looked at me and said, “Butt wind?” – using the short “i” pronunciation instead of the proper long “i”.
My dad didn’t raise his head, but he just lifted his gaze above his spectacles and gave my friend a look of, “Hmph. Another moron.”
Yes, Butt Wind has a special meaning to me.
Years ago I went to Tai Chi classes for a while. There wasn’t much in the way of formal teaching; the whole class would just slowly go through the entire routine of movements with those of us who were newcomers copying the more advanced students as best we could. The teacher would walk among us offering a comment or a bit of advice from time to time. I lost it completely when she came alongside me and quietly murmered “less like an orang-utan, Louise”. The rest of the class continued in solemn silence, while I valiantly tried to stifle giggles for the remainder of the 45-minute session. Never could take it seriously again after that.
Those are words it would behoove all of us to live by.
I finally remembered this one - a big food warehouse place had an extensive meat department that sold unpackaged hot dogs by the pound but the headline in their ad said -
[SIZE=4]**
Loose Meat Weiners $1.99lb**[/SIZE]
In my head I still hear, “Loose meat weinies, check it and see! I gotta fever of a hundred and three!!”
Frank Sinatra’s sartorial advice: avoid brown suits after 6pm, and NEVER wear a tuxedo on Sunday!