TMI to come…
The last few weeks I’ve been jarred awake by stomach rumblings you would expect only from the body of that hapless crewmember on the Nostromo, just before the alien popped out to say, “How YOU doon?”
We’re talking sounds like “grrrrrr!” and “blorp!” and “oi-oi-oi-oioioioioioi!” And I mean, LOUD… Loud enough to wake Mrs. Malice on several occasions.
Possibly pertinent info:
• This is new; started a couple weeks ago
• Noise is very weakly correlated with larger meals and large salads.
• No changes in diet recently, except for cutting back on wine consumption to AMA-defined “moderate” levels…
• Noises multiply when on side or back, but subside 90% when on stomach.
• Noises appear about 8-10 hours after eating and only at night.
• The following morning when I get up, there’s some gas that wants to get out, but its unremarkable in quanity – and smells just like lilacs! (Ok, maybe not that last part, but there’s no smell.)
So… Is some motion-picture-copyright-violating creature liviing in my belly?
Or is it that I just turned 37 and this is a sneak preview of middle-aged-body quirkiness? (Because that would suck.)
Or is it that my BMI needs to drop from 26.6 to less than 25?
Just so that this isn’t Mundane Stuff, I’m looking for medical or physiological explanations that are consistent with these signs (and, I hope, potential solutions)… Any guesses?