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Sequential thread alert: Today in MPSIMS, “Website against Masturbation” >> “My wife just got me a Palm.”
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Yesterday on our way home from work, on Washington St. in Alexandria, Peta Tzunami pointed out a building that we have passed at least a dozen times. On the front of the building, in huge letters, it reads, “Noncommissioned Officers Association.” In the windows at street level: mannequins wearing bridal and bridesmaid gowns. Our conclusion: We can only assume that the NCOA is upstairs. I thought I was going to wreck the car, I was laughing so hard.
Just today, I laughed so hard that I cried. A certain doper that we all know and love was changing in the bathroom. She had her clothes to change into over the side of the bathroom stall, and had already thrown her clothes that she changed out of away. So a mutual friend of ours grabs the bra which is dangling over the side and runs with it. Luckily this person did not take the shirt too, so she put it on (sans bra) and ran out in the hall to get her bra back, All the while I am leaning against the wall, unable to stop laughing. Extremely hillarious, but I guess you had to be there.
This last weekend, I was sick and couldn’t ride with my husband on our weekly bicycle ride in the country, so I drove our car along the ride route and waited for him at a couple of prearranged places to provide him with water, etc.
At one point, after driving past him on the way to the next stop, I soon also passed a couple of cyclists who were a couple of obvious mouthbreather types (sorry, mouthbreather!). They were wandering all over the road, gaping everywhere but where they were going, doing a lot of dumb things you shouldn’t do when cycling in traffic. I drove on ahead and stopped at the next stop. It just happened that the next stop was about 200 feet past a gruesomely squashed roadkill doe. Someone had, in decency, dragged the doe off to the shoulder of the road, but a pile of ripe entrails remained right in the middle of the road. I parked at my spot and waited to see how the mouthbreathers would deal with it.
The first one came along, staring off into the distance. Maybe the smell clued her in, but she noticed the offal at the last possible moment, and swerved wildly and avoided it. Did she clue in the second cyclist? No! The second cyclist also came along and SQUELCHED RIGHT THROUGH the mess. She squealed and made a face like Calvin eating spinach! The thing was, the mess was in the middle of the road; if they had been off to the right, like they should have been, they’d have avoided both entrails and doe.
My husband came along, noticed the hazard from 50 feet back, and avoided it all neatly.
Just an hour ago, I read John Corrado’s explanation on the Republican Lifestyle in this Pit Thread.
That sure had me in stitches for a few minutes 
This past weekend I was helping my youngest son with his home work. As he was working out some math problems I had noticed some papers that he did in class during the week, one of them was a hand out entitled: A Fortune Just for You, Composition Enrichment Activities. The assignment was to make up fortunes for people with certain occupations, fortunes that they may find in a fortune cookie. The first one was U.S. President, to which he replied; Don’t blow up the earth. My son then answered the next couple with fortunes that were more in line with what the teacher was looking for. He ended with these two, Football Player; Hurt more people. This one was marked wrong as he attends a christian school. The last one was for a ventriloquist, who then received this fortune; Get a real job. These may not sound funny to others, but to me they are.
I detest supposedly open ended assignments with wrong answers. So you disagree? Bite me. I did the work, you just don’t like my opinion. You asked for it, you got it, deal.
If you wanted me to give you your opinion you should ask for your opinion.
Sorry, pet peeve…
Oh, I love that one. That’s just funny as a fortune in general. Reminds me of Penn & Teller’s “misfortune cookies” with fortunes like “That lump is cancer”.
Guess we know one career your son’s not interested in…