Things that one should just not do.

If you think that you should replace the blade on the cutter you’re using for cutting drywall, then it’s a good idea. Especially if the blade had gotten dull and you need to push down really hard, and the square you are using is old and banged up. By pushing too hard, it’s hard to stop the knife when it comes up on a ding on the square, and slices your finger open.

Oh, and paying attention when driving. Especially to cars stopped in the street ahead of you.

I was dining at a Chinese restaurant years ago. A guy at the next table started opening a cask of wine. He knocked back the waitress’s offer to take it away to open it. He was standing up with the cask on the table in front of him. He was having great difficulty pulling out the spout but eventually one great heave got it out but unfortunately also tore it off the bladder. He just stood there dumbstruck as a 2 litre geyser of red wine decorated his groin. We nearly died stifling our laughter.

When cutting something like cardboard with an X-acto Knife and using a steel ruler, it is worth remembering to keep all fingertips back from the edge of the ruler.

The ER doctor nodded his head sagely when I mentioned the words “X-acto Knife”.

lol. Sure you will.

Corkage isn’t charged just for the labor of popping a cork, it’s for the glassware used, the washing of said glassware, the costs of maintaining an inventory of wine, etc. You pay it for any wine brought into the restaurant, regardless of the packaging. (At least that’s generally the case in the US, not sure about Australia or other countries.)

Pay attention to the pump nozzle you’re putting in your car’s petrol tank!

Petrol engine cars do not function well if you fill the tank with Diesel Oil. :smack:

Um. Can I get a recipe, or a how-to, for this?

Don’t ever drive a Jeep to anything important.

I LIKE box wine. :dubious:

Never shoot a shotgun in the house. A friend of my dad had just finished shooting squirels in the back yard and accidentially shot it off in the house. After the bird shot ruined the linoleam and carpet it rociched into the fridge.

Shooting squirrels in the back yard? :frowning: I’ll never understand people; some of them just make me sick.

There are instructions here, as part of the recipe for Banoffi Pie (which is where I first heard of this).

Never go home with a chick you just met, when you’re barely sober enough to put the car in gear.

Or rather, if you do, don’t be surprised when you can’t find the contents of your wallet (or the chick) the next day.

(My boss in Costa Rica did this. To this day, him and his roomie still swear it’s impossible that she took it. Yes, dearies, and I’m 8’ tall).

One o’ these days, when I’m living in an apartment I don’t like as much as this one and I’ve had it up to HERE with the landlord and just don’t give a shit anymore, I’m going to do this.

And I’m going to let my kids play in the mess.

And I’ll be playing in it with them.

I’m that kind of mom.

:smiley:

Be sure to completely fill both compartments on the dishwasher door, and squirt a little extra in on the dishes, just to ‘make sure they get really clean.’ Give it just a few minutes and you’ll have a floor full of bubbles.

Disclaimer: I blame it on being 17 and away from home for the first time - Senior Week at the ocean. I was not the one who actually did it, but I was the one who said, “It’d all dish soap - what’s the difference?”
:rolleyes:
:smack:
:stuck_out_tongue:

Thanks! One more quick question, sorry, does this mean sweetened condensed milk (just called “Eagle Brand” around my house whilst growing up) or plain condensed milk. Hm. Do they make unsweetened condensed milk? I shall Google.

Oh. Don’t lock your dog, purse, keys and cel phone in the car, if that’s the only phone you use and you don’t have a spare set of keys stashed someplace.

I went to the locks place and made three extra sets after that little incident.

Also: Do not nuke soap bits and bobs in a plastic container in the microwave to make a “new” big bar of soap. Especially if you hit 15:00 minutes instead of 150 seconds.

You will get cooked soap, melted plastic and a horrid stench of both. (Thanks to the Dope, though, I tried the trick of the shallow plate of fresh coffee, which worked!)

Never cut brush with a chain saw.

Sweetened. BTW, you may be more familiar with the term dulce de leche for this sauce.

Incidentally, I believe it was first developed by the Shakers (as in the furniture–they also helped develop the method for making sweetened condensed milk).

Splain, please. I do not know this trick.

Never dance in hiking boots, even if you’re a backpacker who finally made it to Europe and you’re in a club in Helsinki and it’s one of your favourite bands performing new material.

Never stick your finger through the centre hole in one of those spools that wire comes on, especially when it’s the pressed metal kind that will trap your finger with a sharp internal edge, unless you want to be embaraqssed when the supervisor cuts you free with tin snips.

Never take a ride in a new university friend’s car without checking the car out on a short trip, unless you want to discover when on the freeway that only the parking brake is working.

Never try to drive a riding lawnmower up a steep ramp onto the back of a pickup truck. When I reached the top of the ramp, the mower got stuck. My neighbor, who was pushing as I drove, thought I had put on the brakes so he stopped pushing. The mower suddenly decided to notice that gravity was in effect and rolled backwards. When the mower hit the ground, it then decided it wanted to flip over on top of whatever idiot had put it in that precarious position in the first place. The idiot did not appreciate the mower’s attempt to turn him into a John Deere-created pancake and managed to struggle most of the way out from under the hurtling machine. The mower, not to be outmaneuvered, managed to pin my shin under the running board. As I lay there with 400 pounds of lawn maintenance machinery crushing my leg, my neighbor had the brilliance to ask, “Hey, are you OK?” I calmly told him that I felt great and would he mind getting the F&^*#$G LAWNMOWER OFF MY &^%^&% LEGS!!!
There were no breaks, or fractures, just massive bruising and compression. Also, a great deal of laughter from the emergency room people when they heard why I was there.
Needless to say, the mower was eventually pushed onto a low trailer. My daughter saw me drive the mower towards the back of the trailer and ran screaming to my wife, “Mommy, you’ve got to stop Daddy! He’s going to try it again!”

I think it was Dave Berry who cautioned not to mix sleeping tablets with Ex-Lax.