Realizing the reason you’re tripping on the sidewalk is cause your half-slip is around your ankles.
Realizing your skirt is caught in the back of your pantyhose.
-Coming back to my car after a really good round golf (except for that one duck hook on #10) and finding my windshield broken…Son of a Bitch!!!..
Making a pot of coffee, pouring a cup, adding the sugar and then realizing your roommate has used the last of the milk you bought specifically for your morning coffee.
Having a report due the next day.
Having your alternator die toward the end of what was a very nice drive. Then having to wait for three hours by the side of the road in Texas in September. Luckily, I had a book with me.
Oversleeping on a work day. If I do that, the rest of the day is pretty much downhill.
Once awake, I have to get 3 kids ready. The bus comes early. They are still wandering around in a fog looking for shoes. The bus leaves without said children. They can’t walk to school, I’m already waaay behind schedule, but have to take them to school. Two different schools, in the opposite direction of where I need to be going.
After dropping off last kid at the school that’s furthest away, noticing my car is running on fumes. Barely. Have to stop at gas station IF I can make it to said gas station. It has to be at the only gas station in town that will take a check, due to the fact that I have 23 cents and a broken cigarette in my purse and THAT means I will have to borrow money from a co-worker who has more sense than I do so I can pay parking and have lunch.
Getting to work and having to drive around for an extra 10 to 15 minutes because they’re having some kind of retarded seminar next door and every parking space in a 5 mile radius is taken. Finally find a parking space 3 blocks away, and it’s about 20 degrees outside. -10 with the windchill factor, and I only brought a lightweight jacket because it wasn’t that cold when I left home.
Walking uphill to work, the wind blowing so hard tears freeze to the sides of your face, Otis the Homeless Bicycle Guy follows me all the way to the door, keeping up a constant banter of how he and I are going to get married as soon as he gets on his feet.
Walking in the door at work, and my friend telling me I look like hell without makeup. Shooting her a bird, going into the bathroom to put on my face in privacy and the lights blow.
Putting on mascara and lipstick in the dark.
This is a true story that has happened many times, with a few variations. At least in the summer it won’t be cold when I have to walk all that way to work. It will be 112 and my clothes will be stuck to me by the time I finish the first block.
Any time my computer decides to take a shit. I didn’t name it “HAL” for nothing.
An otherwise enjoyable day, ruined by…
D’oh!
Credit card statement arrives in the mail.
Well, bang goes that happy happy feeling.