Things that you can use in place of other things but not vice versa.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

In another thread someone mentioned easing anal intercourse by using lube or butter.

So you can use butter as a sex lubricant but you can’t use sex lubricant as butter.

Similarly you can use a butter knife as a screwdriver but you can’t butter bread with a screwdriver.

More?

2

you can use your keys to cut through scotch tape but you can’t use a penknife to unlock your door.

you can use your fork as a spoon but you can’t use a spoon as a fork.

3

You can weld things with an explosion, but you can’t explode things by welding them.

4

I’ll bet you can. Oh man, when I tried to weld that gasoline…

Ok, mine:

You can use a condom as a balloon, but it would be a really bad idea to use a balloon as a condom.

You can throw a baseball at a man but it would be really tough to throw a man at a baseball.

5

I should think it would be just the opposite.

A 4dtv receiver will receive analog C Band, but an analog C Band receiver can’t receive 4DTV.

That’s not what you’re looking for, is it?

6

You can cage a swallow, can’t you, but you can’t swallow a cage, can you?

7

You can also use mayonnaise or olive oil as a sex lubricant . . . but . . . ewwwww!

8

You can use a screwdriver to open a door, but you can’t use a door handle to tighten a screw.

9

You can use Cocacola instead of WD40 on stuck locks, but I don’t suggest drinking your WD40.
Oh, and about the use of food oils as sex lubes: don’t do that for vaginal penetration if you’re also using a condom!

10

Ordinary laundry bleach can be used to clean a photo paper processor, but processor cleaner won’t do your shirts any good.

11

I was pre-baking a pie crust yesterday. The recipe said to line the bottom with foil, and then to fill it with pie weights (little ceramic marbley things) or rice or beans as a substitute.

I would imagine that in any recipe calling for rice or beans, using pie weights in their place would not work nearly as well.

Now I’m going to go have some pie.

12

Keeping with the sex theme…

You can use a cucumber as a dildo.

But you can’t use a dildo to make sandwiches.

13

You can use a screwdriver for some rough chiseling. But you can’t use a chisel for driving a screw, unless you want to ruin the edge.

14

You could probably use it to roll out pie dough, though.

looks at rolling pin and winces

15

Haven’t you ever heard of “tube steak”?

16

huh? you mean etiquette-wise? because you can’t spear anything with your spoon…
you can chuck a woodchuck but a woodchuck cannot chuck you.

17

Ever tried eating soup with a fork?

18

I’m still trying to figure out why this wouldn’t work – albeit somewhat awkwardly – with a flathead screwdriver.

19

You can use time to tell distance but not the other way around.

How far from NY to Boston? Oh, about 3 hours.

How long to drive from NY to Boston? 200 miles.

20

You can use a helmet as a hammer, but I wouldn’t reccomend that you try the opposite.