So, several months ago, while walking toward the cashier at the grocery store, I pass the personal products display and see a box of 6 sample size KY bottles. “How cute!” I think, “How fun!” I buy them, take them home to boyfriend. When I get home I inspect them closer and am sad to see that actually only one is a personal lubricant, the other 5 are massage oils, some regular, some warming, but all say “Not For Use As Personal Lubricant”. Bummer, but that’s ok, massages are fun.
Fast forward to last night… Boyfriend and I hit a party, come home late with him a bit tipsy… Lights off, fooling around… I pause and ask him to grab some lube. He says sure, drunkenly grabs one of the little bottles, pours it into his hands, and rubs it onto me and himself. Approximately a second passes and I’m running naked to the bathroom, yelping in pain. I stand there splashing water on myself for 5 minutes, when I come out he’s going “Aaaaaahhhh my dick is burning!!!”
Totally killed the mood. We gave up and went to sleep.
I examined the bottle this morning. Apparently he grabbed a bottle of warming massage oil, the one that says “Not For Use As A Personal Lubricant.” They weren’t kidding.
Ok. Mine is the 2-in-1 Warming body massage AND personal lubricant…whew. But the guy said it was a bit ouchy, so we never used it again. Good thing it was a $1 sample bottle…
I once masturbated with baby oil and had sex shortly after with an early girlfriend. Penis ensued and she was in discomfort and pain.She asked me what was different and I confessed to the mineral oil, totally ignorant of the pain that it might cause. I didn’t realize. Stinging was the last I intended. I felt so bad, but learned something… (helll, I was 18.)
That’s the least of it. Massage oils and condoms don’t mix. Oil breaks down the latex a condom is made of. This is something many people just don’t know, and it has probably casued many unwanted pregnancies. It is after all a quite likely scenario: having foreplay with some massage oil, applying hands with oil on them to a penis, then putting on a condom. Common scenario, but it increses the chance of a broken condom a hundredfold. I really wish Mythbusters would make an item of this.
It doesn’t even have to be during sex. I learned the hard way that I had not sufficiently washed the habaneros off my hands when I went to take a pee and quickly ended up in the shower.
Fortunately, I do know that. Oddly enough, the sex ed class I had to take in Florida of all places taught us that much. I educated several friends when I returned to Texas.
We’re not using condoms however, so we have the opportunity to use oil if we want…
( OP )Same stuff, similar story. Except she thought it was a hell of an enhancement and I was…well, I was a man about it at the time as she seemed to be enjoying it, but yow! I kept looking down to make sure there weren’t really flames shooting out of the coupling.
