No good at all without a picture! 
Ah, if wish is fishes, I’d have em too… 
You can use them as biometrics to log into your computer
Crack walnuts.
sigh Oh all right, I’ll do it then… :
Sooo, how *you *doin’ ?
Moving from IMHO to MPSIMS.
I would not like to see Myth Busters testing this.
My buttocks once made a man loudly exclaim to God, “Please lord, don’t strike me blind”. 
I was 28 and it was the tight pink jeans that did it.
Awesome! Definitely worthy of going on the list of things you tell your grand children.
Prehensile
“Houston, we’re venting some sort of gas into space.”
I consider myself an artist. The buttocks are my canvas.
Also the upper thighs.
–
The small of the back is my sketchpad. The neck and shoulders are my bristol board. The feet and lower legs are my high-rag content mixed-media paper.
Have diarrhe-ar (as my grandpa says), not wipe your ass with toilet paper, but wipe your ass ON something else. Make a peace sign maybe?
I thought it was “dire rear.”
(pause)
Another thing one can do with one’s buttocks: play the drum solo from “In A Gadda Da Vida” on them with one’s hands.
.
I can’t help wondering how they assessed the damage at $10,000. The conversion to sterling (£6,460) heightens the effect of this. It’s as if they’re absolutely, positively certain that it shoudn’t be £54658 or £6462.
Actually, at the moment, it’s £6489.71; if we’re going to calculate the degree of buttockal damage so precisely, the least we can do is keep abreast of the exchange rate. 
Hey, I’m from Houston too. Always nice to see another ass Strohs fan.
Details, details… just appreciate the fact that a UK news paper is nice enough to give us US version, alright? 
You can crush a Stroh’s can.