I am amazed at how some of the Pit threads are devolving into a weird sort of patriotic proctology. Even very innocent rants are turning into lynch-mob riots full of people astonishingly interested in what other people do with their anuses. The hyper-patriotism is understandable, though possibly dangerous and absolutely tiresome. And the suggestions of what people do with their rectal areas shows a real lack of imagination and tact.
Example:
Post #1: I had Corn Flakes for breakfast today.
Post #2:poster1, we are in a national crisis now, how the fuck dare you be concerned with your breakfast?
Post #3:poster1 is obviosly a self absorbed fucknut who has no concern about American corn growers. I suggest he shove those cornflakes up his ass.
Post #4: USA! USA!
Post #5: I suppose that those workers at ground zero didn’t deserve a breakfast? poster1 you selfish ass! Why don’t you stick it up your ass? Ass ass ass.
Post #6: You rectal fuck bomb. Butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt.
I know I will get flamed for this. I know I will be accused of being anti-American. But while reading your responses, I’m keeping my ass to the wall, thank you very much.
Well, you can’t tell a poster to “shove it up his cunt” because half the posters out there don’t have one, and the ones without 'em would just retort, “Hah, fooled you, haven’t got one, neener neener!”
I dunno, I recently read a book where someone told a guy to pound a bunch of sand up his ass. Since then, I’ve been sneaking “pound that up your ass” into most conversations.
I’m not very original, and I have a childish sense of humor. Give me an immature phrase that hits me the right way, and I’ll drive it right into the ground.
This accounts for my contributions to the ass-obsession of the pit lately.
Yeah, but “cram it up your nose” just doesn’t have the same impact. “Shove it in your navel” has the same problem as a reference to the vagina–some people are “outies”. Having your head down your own mouth is anatomically impossible. Well, so is having your head up your own ass, but the impossibility of having your head down your own mouth is deeper somehow–it’s geometrically impossible, not just really, really improbable and likely fatal. And everyone knows “Stick it in your ear!” is just a euphemism for you-know-where.
Actually, I was kind of hoping this would be another Fred Phelps-bashing thread.
As great a scene I get in my head from your scene, tdn, this is the one is going to get me for a while to come. The timing of poster number four’s appearance, the essence of what he added to the pretendpost - comic brilliance. I think it’s the funniest thing I have ever read on the boards, and definitly the funniest thing in the pit
The way I see it, when people get on edge, they become more primal. You know how monkeys insult one another? By slinging shit at one another. Anyone asking me for a cite on this can look it up their ass. There.
Hah! Ha ha ha he he phrht (spitting drink out nose) clunk (falling off chair) hehehehe!
Well, OK, it’s one in the morning here, and all pretense of rational/civilised thought has pretty much flown the coop, but I gotta say, that’s an example of superior creative invective if I ever saw one…
Oh, wait, I get it… you are like my female cat… you fling yourself down on the floor and expose your belly only to RIP the SHIT out of any hand that comes your way…
You wank!
I won’t offer up my hand… but I might offer my heart… just ask me nice. And get your hand off my ass…
