Things you can't believe you ate as a kid.

Duke, yes, there’s a kind of family resemblance between the classic “donair” of my childhood & what I was getting during a sojourn in Cambridge, England last April at various fast-food joints. Though the Halifax donair sauce seems still very distinctive, & one hopes to god that British youth aren’t snacking on the hideous donair pizza. (What’s next? crusts filled with sticky-sweet donair sauce instead of cheese?..) Ah, just thinking of the donair pizza brings back memories of that particular corner near a church & a public library downtown where four or five pizza/donair joints coincide, & the area is always covered in gnawed pizza crusts, splashes of sticky sauce & ketchup, fries & rotting tomatoes…

I recall on the same visit to the UK the oddest thing to my mind was the “chip butty” (I think the name was?)–instead of meat or falafel wrapped in pita bread, it was filled with french fries.

My wife, after I posted my last note, went to the grocery store & bought four kinds of relish–mixed vegetable, dill pickle, onion and tomato. There’s going to be a peanut-butter & relish feeding frenzy here soon… count me out, I think. --N

Um, Homer, isn’t Alum poisonous?

I cant believe I ate dirt and grass (as in lawn, not the drug)

My mom used to slice spam, coat it in eggs and crumbs, and fry it in a pan. Actually, it wasn’t that bad and I do remember that it tasted just like spicy ham. Big surprise! But when I see it in the grocery store now, I just walk on by.

alright, i guess i can tell you. when i wuz wicked little, two or three at most, i liked, in order-

  1. chewing on the cedar-flavored muntins and mullions of my bedroom window.

  2. dead flies offa said window’s sill.

  3. dust bunnies, from wherever i could find em (moms wuz a neat freak, so they were kinda rare).

dont ask me why, i really have no answer, but i do have a really vivid memory of getting all hot for the flavor of a dust bunny, and also i remember knowing that eating dead flies wuz wrong, and that i didnt care.

I like you!

I still can’t believe I swallowed all that BS my mom and dad handed me throughout my formative years.

zenster, babes, yer too kind. really.

special to pismonque- dont blame yourself.

My best friend had a roomate and she put butter on everything. Butter on danish, butter in the canned chicken noodle soup, butter on donuts that already had frosting.

She also fried things frequently and would fry pork chops in inch- deep oil. I saw her eat it and no this is not hearsay, my best friends mom also saw the horror.
as for me…
Sugar sandwiches, sugar and butter on white, or wheat
Dipping tortilla chips in cottage cheese, sometimes w/chives
Hot Chocolate mix straight from the envelope

I was all smug in my freakiness until I read this thread. My favorite snack as a kid was white bread, peanut butter, and white sugar sprinkled on top. I’m another raw-potato eater, an uncooked hot dog eater, and was a big liversausage fan, as well. And clover buds - I deluded myself into thinking they were sweet. And I’m not alone on any count with these!

However, one I haven’t seen (and I still make for my son, who adores it, but I can’t eat it anymore): fried hot dogs and scrambled eggs. My parents were from the “meat + eggs = breakfast” school, and I looooooved this. MY dad also made me a fried bologna and salami omelette was a kid, and it was so greasy I didn’t have to chew…it just slithered down my throat. Deeeelicious.

You people have completely disgusted me. I’ll never eat again. The weirdest thing I ate when I was a kid was pickle and cheese kebabs. Sliced dill pickles and American cheese alternated on toothpicks. I did like Vienna sausages, too. Sorry, no bugs. (I accidently ate canned dog food once. Blecch!)

This has been quite a chuckle (not to mention a walk down memory lane!)

My eats (as a child):

baker’s chocolate (dark, completely unsweetened) Mom would set mouse traps, she thought mice were eating it!

dog food, dry (Purina Dog Chow)

pine tree sap (not bad, really - like pine nuts but sharper)

misc. weeds (I was nuts on edible plants as a kid, ate a lot of weeds, but identified a lot of them before munching)… ate roots, stems, leaves, flowers… like others here, ate stems of various grasses, clover, and so forth. And flower petals and nectars (lilac is good).

sugar in milk (ICK!) - my step-mom didn’t think we drank enough milk, so would sugar it to get us to drink more.

Quick on a spoon, or mixed with just a little milk or water to make a chocolate paste.

raw spaghetti (hard on the teeth, but nice crunch when you get going!)

rocks (I overheard some grownup say ‘you gotta eat a peck of dirt before you die’ and someone else say ‘kids survive things that would kill adults’ and I put 2 and 2 together… I should eat my peck of dirt ASAP! But I couldn’t find good dirt, so I went with gravel instead. Picked nice smooth ones, so as to not scratch up my innards, too. Brilliant 2-year-old behavior… At least I didn’t know what a ‘peck’ was, I figured two or three rocks would do me.)

And my most ‘freak my adult self out’ item: fish eyes - no foolin, we used to catch a lot of trout in the summer, and I’d pry the eyes out of all of them (cooked) and munch them up. Now, just the thought makes me gag.

As an adult, most interesting ‘weird’ food was fried bee larvae (in Kunming prov., China) - tasted like pollen-flavored popcorn, but looking at the sometimes well-formed bee heads as they went into my mouth was enough to make me stop eating them.

Mom would occasionally give us a very small glass of prune juice. I loved it, all sweet and wonderful. Then one day, mom was out of the way, and I drank a whole bottle. As you’ve no doubt already figured out, I haven’t touched it since.

The elementary school cafeteria served hamburgers with fries, with pickles and ketchup. And always, chocolate cake for dessert. I found that if you stack it all up, fries on the patty, then cake topped with pickle and ketchup (for a nice sweet and sour effect), it was wonderful. It made a wonderful mess as the top bun was mashed down, and it grossed out the girls, which was an added plus at that age.

The one thing I made as a kid that I still enjoy is triple decker peanut butter sandwiches with EVERYTHING on it. Cereal, chocolate chips, jelly, marshmallow, nuts, candy, syrup, bananas. I’ll put in anything I can find that’s sweet, or sweet and crunchy. If possible, warm it slightly so everything oozes. Messy, but great.