Also from this movie: You can demonstrate a camcorder on the sales floor by sticking it down your pants while raving about the girlfriend who dumped you because you cheated on her - several years ago.
If there’s a hostage crisis, the local police and the FBI will always argue over who has the authority to take command of the situation. If the hero is FBI, the police will be hair trigger jerks and vice versa.
Babies are born perfectly clean, with perfectly round heads and smooth skin and look about 6 months old.
I’ve learned, through watching The Mentalist, that every murder victim, if not the perpetrator, is a multimillionaire whose house is the size of a cathedral, and that there are no poor people in California — except the mentalist, who lives in a garret.
Broken glass won’t cut you.
There is sound in space.
In space no one can hear you scream.
Absolutely right- ALL murders are committed by rich white people, and all rapes are committed by rich white prep school boys.
Don’t take my word for it- watch any episode of Law & Order.
There are glacier-capped peaks in Pennsylvania.
Everyone buys a baguette to go in their paper bag from the grocery store.
Snow on clothing or hair never melts indoors.
That guy who broke into your house while you were out will always be an old acquaintance who wants you to come back for “one last mission.” How many “one last missions” that happens to be depends on how well the movie did.
Cars always explode when they go over a cliff. Often before hitting the ground.
Everyone drinks red wine with dinner. (At least on Lifetime)
It always rains, hard, in California.
When being investigated, the innocent person is 100% innocent, because he has not had so much as a parking ticket.
He must have picked up Columbo’s old job when he retired.
Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
If I’m on the run from the law, the TV/radio will always be broadcasting a report about my crime. Naturally, the logical response is to switch off the TV/radio as dramatically as possible, instead of actually listening to find out what the police are doing.
A quick bump on the head will often result in selective amnesia. I won’t be able to remember my name, my job, or anything else about my life, but in all other aspects I will be completely functional. Thankfully, this amnesia can be easily reversed by another quick bump on the head.
Children never die, unless they already have a terminal illness – in which case, they’re toast. Dogs never die. Cats do.
Every place looks like southern California. (Or, more recently, Vancouver.) Places like New York, Chicago, and Dallas always have snow-capped mountains in the background.
Outside of California, it never snows except during Thanksgiving or Christmas.
My grocery sells only celery.
Jaws? (This one killed a kid AND a dog!)
Stephen King’s The Mist?
The Descent?
Pay It Forward?
Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith?
My Girl?
Barry Lyndon? Gone With the Wind?
Every time something dramatic is about to happen and a child is in the vicinity, you have to take that child out “for ice cream.”
And said sprinkler system usually only gets people’s hair and clothes a little wet, everyone laughs, and it can often be a romantic event. In no way are the sprinklers full of smelly stagnant water with lots of corrosion products and a prime environment for bacterial growth.
The first sign a woman is pregnant? She’s puking her guts out, ALWAYS.