Things you learned the hard way

Nope. Never watched Seinfeld.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

The fumes nearly knocked me out.

Just because you’re upfront with someone when you’re only looking for something casual, doesn’t mean they’re not going to catch feels and get hurt.

You learned these things the hard way personally??

I was strolling through the woods once and as I passed a hollow tree stump I peeked down inside. There sat a cute looking little bunny. I reached down and picked it up by the ears. It literally turned my forearm to hamburger with its back feet before I could let go.

Note to self: don’t fuck with rabbits.

Well that’s no ordinary rabbit; that’s the most four, cruel, bad tempered rodent you’ve ever laid eyes on.

Technically rabbits aren’t rodents they’re their own group called lagomorphs (rabbits, hares and pikas).

The first one, for sure. I’ve driven plenty throughout Central America, and this only happened to me once.

Once.

Not me, but my brother did this. In Western Oregon the vegetation can & will hide electric fences. I do not care what Myth busters say, an electric fence, especially a “Weed Eater” electric fence, will zap you good! My brother will testify to this in a court of law.

Another thing that Myth busters got wrong is that when a wire rope or cable breaks, it can indeed cut you very deeply. If it gets you on a rebound from a break when under major tension it will definitely make you bleed a lot. I got to witness that one on two separate occasions. Not fun.

I’m pretty sure they said it can cut deep and cause good injury. What they said was false, was that it can slice you into two pieces.

Ditto. Once was quite enough.

From the movie Brassed Off:

Girl: Do you want to come upstairs for coffee?
Guy: I don’t drink coffee.
Girl: That’s okay, I haven’t got any.

Don’t watch “Gone Girl” with your wife.

In fact, if you’re a guy, you’re just better off not watching it period.

If the cable is big enough and fast enough it can tear you apart - or at least knock you down. Here’s a video of an arresting cable on an aircraft carrier breaking while slowing a just-landed aircraft. It slows the plane enough (before breaking) to cause it to tumble off the front of the carrier; the pilot ejects. But watch at 1:06, when the loose cable comes hurtling toward the rear of the carrier and sweeps a sailor’s legs out from under him.

Because it might give her ideas or because she’ll thing you’re going to Gone Girl her?

My ex, who admittedly had some paranoia issues, noticed that I had rented a movie called “Divorce, American Style” and was convinced it was some sort of instructional DVD. I explained to her that I was working my way through all the AFI lists and that was the next up. She wasn’t fully convinced, but she seemed to accept it. I didn’t help my situation when I rented “How To Murder Your Wife” a few weeks later.

Well, not exactly. It’s a huge boner-killer.

Two of the nicest things I’ve read here or elsewhere in a long time.

Oh no, never. In fact, I’ve gotten good results by saying, “I understand your frustration. These are the worst years of your life.” Doesn’t sound very nice, but what made it work was to add, “But I can promise you that things are going to get better.” It was all about autonomy, and it made the kid realize his best years were just around the corner.

So what have I learned the hard way? Let’s see, I was going to say I’ve learned everything the hard way, because I learn from my mistakes, blablabla… But that’s no fun. Oh, I know: If you’re going to pull a condom off while it’s still snugly in place, keep a firm grip on that thing. You sure as hell don’t want it to snap back on, uh, the center of your interests.

Domestic rabbits have the same armaments. The way to pick them up is to grab them by the scruff of the neck with one hand and reach around and grab the flesh-shredding hind legs with the other. Don’t let go.

I don’t like rabbits.

Much worse than that - was in company with another frigate that was trying to resupply at sea - steering gear failed and they had to do an emergency breakaway to prevent collision, the tension on the cable between the frigate and the supply vessel was so great that the cable slip just locked solid, result was that something had to give - the cable snapped like it was a piece of elastic which whipped back - it came back at incredibly high speed - even made a whip crack noise - the strands were as good as knife blades at that speed, killed one deck master and seriously injured a few others.

Seems to me that Myth Buster know absolutely jack about cable and rope snapping - having observed the outcome of the real thing - its messy but fortunately very very fast.