On NCIS, I want Ziva to be rescued by the team, come back to DC, be reinstated as Mossad liaison, then have shrieking monkey sex with Tony… only to discover that they’re entirely incompatible in bed, and with the tension between them finally extinguished they can get back to work without all the insufferable will they/won’t they flirting nonsense.
(However, if they do feel the need to connect two of the regulars of NCIS sexually, the most screamingly obvious couple has been right under our noses from the very first episode. They flirt, they whisper in each other’s ears, they have no respect for one another’s personal space, they have intuition about one another, he’s always bringing her gifts… Abby & Gibbs. No one else could make more sense.)
On HIMYM I want Barney and Robin to do anything BUT hook up. That would be the ruination of the show. We already have a couple. We will get another, in the form of Ted + Whoever We’re Led to Think Is the Mother But Won’t Be The Mother for this season. We don’t need Barney & Robin and it would kill the Barney character.
Similarly, no Penny & Leonard hookup on BBT and no Chuck & Sarah hookup on Chuck. (Which isn’t coming back until March of next year?!?! Boo!)
I want to see the Amazing Race not go to: India, China, Singapore, Hong Kong or Australia. I want to see the original penalty structure resumed, the return of the surprise!Yield, no more Intersection, more Fast Forwards available and no more “marked for death” non-Philimination legs where the teams have to do both Roadblocks on the next leg. If you’re last, you’re out. I’d also like CBS to move it to a night that won’t have it interfered with by football, but I’m not holding my breath.
I want to not see Tom DeLay on Dancing with the Stars. We need another pre-season disqualifying injury, like with Jewel and Nancy O’Dell.
I want Grey’s Anatomy, Ugly Betty and Heroes to make me interested enough to bother again. But they won’t.
I want Private Practice to not half-ass this bit with the psycho chick stealing Violet’s unborn baby. Either save Violet & the baby and eliminate psycho, or let Violet & baby both die. Don’t use this as a setup for a relationship or not a relationship with Peter (or Cooper or Sheldon). Don’t use this as a setup for post-partum depression + mourning. Don’t use this as a setup for anything other than the meaningful reactions of those involved (who survive) to a serious trauma. Don’t let this be forgotten by episode 4 but don’t let it also be the setup for Violet to end up a drug addict or something. I’d also like to not be so invested in this damn show but that’s not going to happen either.