“Timmy’s gonna be so surprised when the evil clown jumps out of the cake.”
“Looks like a coyote got your boy when we weren’t looking, yup, here’s a blood trail”
“What time to the male strippers get here?”
“Line up for rides on the garage door!”
“Oh shit, you left the nitrous tank on”
“First one inside the monkey island wins!”
I hope little Johnie enjoys the drum set.
“Don’t tell your mother.”
Unfortunately, my husband actually heard our BIL say this to one of the guests. My BIL was trying to get the pinata started, and accidentally hit a kid in the head.
My BIL’s first reaction was not, “Oh, my God, are you all right?” or “Here, let me see” or “Let’s get some ice on that.” It was
“Don’t tell your mother.”
Now, what does that tell you when someone’s first reaction upon hurting a child is “Don’t tell your mother?”
“Sure, Cole, you can have another cupcake. You’ve only had like, what, seven?”
(I actually did that. Cole just loved those cupcakes!)
(Cole’s mom IS still my friend)
“He missed the donkey and pinned the tail in my eye!”
[/brian regan]
“Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”
“Incoming!!!”
“Wait, I thought we had 8 kids here, not 7…”
“OK, line up for the running-with-scissors relay race!”
“Mom! What are measles? Billy just gave me some!”
“Do you think it’ll grow back?”
Do you like movies about gladiators?
“We’ve spread the weedkiller and fertilizer, both front and back. Thank you for using ToxiLawn. We had to move the bouncy house to spread the stuff. Just FYI.”
(minor - but real)
“So, the Pizza’s are here for the kids, there are supremes, and meatlovers… I didn’t get any Hawaiian because I thought some of them might be Muslim or Jewish…”
<discussion with small guests>
“Oh, you’re Hindu… and you don’t eat what?” :smack:
(Next time i made sure there were ones without beef, and Vegetarian ones too).
"To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!"
goodness, looks like connor’s eye rolled under the couch.
lawn darts!!!
“What time do the people from NAMBLA get here?”
Anyone have a spare pair of undies?
“Don’t worry, Billy, the scar will hardly show.”
“OK kids, who wants to be first on the cannon ride?”
“Suzie, get off of the diving board! We haven’t even filled the pool with wa – oh shit.”
“Wow, Billy-thanks for the flamethrower!”
“Who wants rum cake?”
“Check out my Dad’s chainsaw!”
“Why does this thing from your mom’s drawer shake when I turn it on?”
“Hey, Gramma-Susie just taught me a new word!”
“Hap-py birth-day, Mister Presi…ahem!…Little John-ny!!”
Gah, I can’t sing, even in print!
“It’s hard to believe Trudy’s just turning nine. Her tits are coming in great.”