Honey, can you stay with the rest of the kids while I drive the birthday girl to the emergency room?*
*Yes, this happened to me when I turned 9.
Let’s play William Tell!
“And every time little Bobby opens a gift, we all take a shot!”
“Why’s this gift ticking, anyway…?”
I got a baby alligator!
Why’s it called a “roach clip”?
There’s a finger in my cake!
Take it all off, baby! Whoo!
Who wants to be the pinata?
Let’s watch all the Saw movies!
I know you said some of the kids here had severe peanut allergies, but I’m sorry, I think that whole peanut-allergy thing is overblown. Besides, I wanted them all to have the chance to enjoy my world-famous Reese’s Cup cookies. Look! See how much they like 'em?
This place is a total sausage fest.
This glue smells nice!
Why are there two girls, but only one cup?
“So, how do you get blood out of a clown suit, anyway?”
“Mom, the chocolate on top of the cake smells funny.”
“I didn’t put any chocolate… Oh, my God! Fluffy pooped on the cake!”
Robin
“Why is there pinkish smoke coming out of that container?”
“No! No! You have to put the end of the primacord at least a metre away from the rock before you blow it up!”
(Both based on Real Life Experiences of my friend. Yes, he did accidentally make nerve gas (the pinkish smoke) in his bedroom one afternoon.)
“So… um… has the birthday girl, um… y’know… um… had her first period yet?”
How about “I’ve got a special job for you today!”?