Listen up youngins. Do not insist that you’d like to work weekends for extra cash when your dad tells you that you shouldn’t because you might not have a social life. I started when I was 15, i’m now 23, still working weekends, with no social life.
I curious, why not?
Just as a datapoint (I used to be married to a man who worked in shirt-weight textiles): a lot of blacks are overdyed fabrics. Thus you get black with green undertones, red undertones. . . and as they fade, the undertones become more apparent.
And I agree. Nothing like dressing in all black, then going out in bright sunlight and discovering you clash.
Bubbles. Lots and lots and lots and lots of bubbles. And some more bubbles, too.
Don’t let people draw on you with permanant marker.
If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t try and fix any sort of driver errors on your computer. You’ll just make it worse.
If talking about a teacher in a not-very-complimentary way, make sure that they’re not anywhere nearby.
Teachers do not know all that much. If they did, they wouldn’t be teachers. Behind the scenes, all they do is complain about how crap the job is, and how little they get paid.
The company does not care about you. The company exists to increase the wealth of whoever owns it. You are there because you fit this plan. All that stuff about ‘The company is loyal to you and we expect you to be loyal to the company’ and ‘We realise our people are our most valuable asset, and we want to look after them’… it’s all utter, total, mendacious brainwashing crap. As soon as there’s the first whiff of recession, they’ll happily kick you out the door if it will save a few bucks. And even without a recession, if they honestly thought they could get by without someone performing your function, they’d drop you like a hot brick.
Being nice is not enough. Not if you want someone to like you or love you or want to be with you. You could go up to a complete stranger and give them $10 for nothing and I’m sure they’d think you were pretty nice (and possibly crazy), but that doesn’t mean they’d want to hang out with you or be your friend. There are lots of good reasons to be a nice, kind person. But thinking it will make someone like you isn’t one of them.
You do not really know what you want. Sometimes we get what we want in life and it’s great, or we don’t get what we want and it’s bad. But equally often in life, we get what we want and it turns out not to be so good, or we don’t and things turn out surprisingly well. You never know.
There is no message so simple, so clear and easy to understand, and so well and clearly conveyed, that someone somewhere won’t totally misunderstand it.
It is never anyone’s fault. Time spent trying to allocate blame is time wasted. Just focus on what you can do to fix the thing that someone has screwed up.
Those with the worst taste in music will have the loudest and most powerful music systems, in their homes or their cars or around their necks.
When people try and sell you things, they tell lies.
Special cut-price deals never are. If they can’t shift the stuff at the normal price, there’s a reason. The only reason is: people don’t want it. The only reason is: it’s no good.
Visiting a place and living there all the time are two different experiences. Lots of places are great to visit, but it sucks to actually be there a long time.
‘Looks sexy’ and ‘is sexy’ have no fixed correlation.
If you want to learn how to do something, find someone who already does it, and learn from them.
Keep the receipt.
Its really hard to tell what carpet will look like once installed by looking at a 6"x6" swatch.
“Polack” is a derogatory term.
wince Oh my, that was an embarrassing dinner.
People who are successful and thrive in retail are manipulative, lying, traitorous egomaniacs.* These are the qualities that retail work cultivates and rewards.
*Does not apply to people who worked retail and hated it
Exactly. And they expect you to be the exact same way. Quite a few were horrified when I’d say things like “I’m just punching the clock til I find something better, I don’t care about moving up.”
Go to the dentist BEFORE your teeth start to hurt.
Owwww…
Honesty is always the best policy… even on seemingly innocuous things.
You cannot make anything truly foolproof.
If you’re very late at work with a co-worker, don’t jump up on a desk and do an impersonation of your Neanderthalish boss.
Especially if you’re not absolutely positive your boss hasn’t just come back.
And especially if you don’t have another job lined up for tomorrow.
Don’t believe that dental implants are necessarily permanent.
There are people who’ve gotten a complete set of them - at tremendous expense and suffering - spending as much money as they would have spent on a house - only to spend more money to have a massive infection cleaned up and the implants removed - and winding up with dentures, after all.
Dunno. I didn’t go in to the hospital. But I kept it clean and whatnot, and it’s healed. I’ll probably have a scar, but it’s healed.
So what should you use to cut an avocado?
Read the instructions very very carefully before trying to relight your gas furnace. Eyebrows grow back, don’t they.
It’s really stupid to crush a can with your bare heel:smack:
If you wake up with abdominal pain, you should probably go to the doctor’s that day, and not in two days’ time.
If you have waist length hair, don’t turn the vacuum cleaner upside down to see if the beater bar is spinning.
Stop. Laughing. 
#1 If you have a problem with the way your sister-in-law let’s her kids run wild, make sure she is out of the room before you mention it to others in the family…
#2 If you are stupid enough to not heed #1, you also cannot win any argument with that sister-in-law and will only make the problem worse so stop while you’re ahead and apologize (even if the kids are spoiled brats)
#3 If you are having dinner with Orthodox Jewish families, mentioning that you make the greatest babyback pork ribs will not go over well, even if it is a great recipe worth bragging about.