Last night, I walked into a bar and saw this very attractive girl sitting by herself wearing a shirt that said: “Free hugs”. So, I went up to her and said: “Um, I’ll take one of those free hugs.” And she happily gave it to me. I didn’t see anything on the shirt that said anything about a limit of one per customer. So, I asked her if I could get one more. Again, she happily gave me the hug with a big smile. No false advertising there. But my 2nd free hug was rudely interrupted by some barbaric brute who grabbed me and essentially tossed me several feet. Luckily I landed on my feet and was ready to defend myself when she and the bartender calmed him down. He must’ve been in the bathroom. Since he grabbed me, they were asked to leave. He was still fuming.
From now on, I’ll be sure to ask if anyone offering free hugs if anyone else in the vicinity would object to the free hug.
Always check the batteries in your camera before you go to a concert or wherever. Went to see Trans Siberian Orchestra and my batteries were so dead i couldn’t even turn my camera ON. At least my mom’s and sister’s cameras worked.
Traveling around spontaneously with no real plan might SEEM awesome and fun, but it can also backfire spectacularly. Come up with at least an outline of a plan before you go.
Respect for cans. Can lids don’t seem that sharp or dangerous. No big deal. Anyone who told me to be careful opening a can was just being a nervous nellie. I’ve only ever cut myself on a can once in my life and it was a soda can and a tiny cut and I was maybe 8. Cans are not dangerous.
Always have an escape plan.
If you have an escape plan, start working on your backup plan (because you’re smart enough to know that 1/2 the time your escape plan will go to shit).
People lie, and generally look out for themselves before anyone else. As someone who doesn’t lie much (non-malicious white lies don’t count) and generally go about my business with the mindset that if we all pitch in we’ll end up with a better society in general, learning this took quite a few years and quite a bit of mental anguish.
Yes, I was the one is psychology class who kept not turning in his accomplice in the Prisoners’ Dilemma experiment, regardless of how many times I got screwed
If you are freaking out in a emergency room after receiving bad news, don’t say that you just want to die, thinking that the authorities will understand that it is a figure of speech used in a moment of duress.
And, completely unrelated: if you are trying to figure out what to say to a man with whom you have spent the night to let him know that you are really interested in seeing him again, avoid frequent use of the phrase ‘good friend’ or he will totally get the wrong idea.
I apparently do not communicate with humans well AT ALL.
