Don’t open a coffee maker if it’s still running. Steam burns hurt.
Always wear an apron while cooking. And – if you’re me – while eating.
An apron while eating… why didn’t I think of that?!
Don’t tell a co-worker that you may have done something that inadvertently resulted in another co-worker losing his job.
Some people don’t understand the world ‘inadvertently.’
Don’t put off routine dental care even though it seems like it costs too much at the time.
Don’t trust implicitly what your partner says in a relationship. Watch instead what they do.
Don’t fry bacon shirtless.
Never take in a stray with the intention of finding it a good home. Unless your home isn’t very nice.
When using power tools, if your inner brain says, “I could really get fucked up if I continue in this manner”. Believe it, reset, reassess and start over.
Don’t push it. A power tool not used wisely, will screw you up way, way before you can compensate for your error.
This is the only reason I still have all my fingers.
If you’re in a car accident, GET A POLICE REPORT. Even for minor fender benders.
Look out for your own interests first as the rest of the world will just fuck you over even unto your death. Remember this always.
When your inner voice starts yelling at you that there’s something wrong in your life, believe it. That inner voice is smarter than you are.
Loyalty is for your friends, family, and whatever faith you might have. It is not for your place of employment. If you find a better job, dump that old job like you would dump that psycho girlfriend who boiled your goldfish because you forgot her sister’s birthday.
Yes! And carry disposable cameras in your vehicles and take a ton of photos before you move anything. My husband got burned by failing to take photos, since it was his word against hers.
A balloon won’t stop a knife.
I learned it as, ‘People show you who they really are, all the time. Your job is to see!’
You are not your intentions, you are, in the end, your actions.
Not to try to clean dried seafood cocktail sauce off the mouth of the bottle with my finger. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11109267#post11109267
In addition to this, NEVER believe anyone when they say they want to just pay for the damage and keep it out of insurance. This is a great way to get burned. I don’t care if it is a priest driving the church bus, get their insurance information.
I actually did that once, kept it away from insurance, and the guy that hit me totally paid up. I got lucky.
Credit cards. Very useful. Very handy.
Also very, very, very dangerous. Don’t be stupid with them. You will regret it. I promise.
Don’t go into business with a friend.
Nobody wants to hear about my amoral co-workers, their doomed project, and how miserable it all makes me. Especially not people who are even tangentially related to the company.
And no, I haven’t been fired or laid off. That would have been sweet.