Wait - I have more.
For the cats - “Yes, you are a cat.” Also, “What’s that? Billy fell down a well?” They never seem to appreciate my original wit. 
Tigger and Hope will surround me, both meowing piteously. “Meow, meow, meowwww!” Their food bowls are not empty; they are half-full.
“I know, I know, your emaciated. Look at you; you’re both just skin and bones.” But I fill up the bowls anyway, just to get them to quit bugging me.
Note that both Tigger and Hope weigh about 20 lbs. each. They’re not starving anytime soon.
Our cat passed away last month (at age 20), but the classic line during his feeding time:
“Move your butt! Getting in my way doesn’t make the food show up any faster!”
I should note that mealtimes at my residence are usually accompanied by much maniacal grinning on the face of the canine, such that he resembles the Joker.
Not my dog, but you get the general idea.
“Have your tea. Look, it’s over there. No, you can’t have a treat til you’ve eaten your tea. Look, mumma try some (pretend bite). Mmm, lovely tea”.
Very fussy Maltese who just stares mournfully at me like I’m giving him prison rations.
You know, I’m pretty sure Vaya only spins clockwise.
And her command for dinner is, “Come get it!” wherever IT happened to be placed today. We make a game of it, keeps her on her toes.
“You want more food? Jesus, Mort, its’ like you need to eat every day or something. Alright, fine, here.”
Ha. I used that one the other day too - although the victim over here was “Timmy.”
Food time! Food time! Kitty-kitty food time!
I may also make remarks about poor, starving kitties, piteously mewing and falling over faint from inanition.
I’ve often described excited, vocal cats or dogs as being “all Timmy-fell-down-a-well about something”.
I don’t know how it started, but my wife always asks the cat, “Do you want to go space truckin’? Let’s go space truckin’!”, and the cat gets excited.
I think it evolved from “come on, come on…”
Shouted to my cats…“Where’s those boys? Kitttieeeeeesssssss… Deeeeener (dinner). Hurry up!”
“Say grace!”
Leet the Wonder Dog[sup]TM[/sup] Sits and bows his head reverently
“Bless us oh Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty, thru Christ our Lord.”
a brief pause while Leet gazes at me expectantly
“Amen!”
snarfgobblemunchmunchmunchBELCHmunchmunchmunch…
Regards,
Shodan
Same words every time:
<Sit>
<Stay> …
<Break>
When I’m home alone with the dogs, often for a couple days at a time, I “sing through” my day (think Hamilton or Les Miz, where every mundane task gets full Broadway treatment). So meal time necessitates a new libretto every night.
Or old-school rapping: “Ah puts some sustenance/in yo’ bowl. Eatcher own/don’t be an ass-ho’!”
Or if I’m in a hurry: “Foods, dudes!” (often in surfer accent)
The aptly named black cat, Little Shit, likes to lean into the kibble bag to cop an extra ear scritch. She never can have too many ear scritches. However, this lean in causes kibble to go all over the floor. So the conversation goes like this. Her-Pitiful mewing. Me-look at you pretending to be a sweet cat you little shit (she’s not, she’ll hiss at you at the slightest assumed provocation), Here’s your food, will you please stop making me spill Meow Mix everywhere.
That was my hand!
I tell him “Ok, dude, go ahead.”
And he still, after 9+ years, looks at me like “Really? I can have it?, Are you sure you’re not going to take it away?”
I don’t get it, I got him when he was 9 months old, had him for 9 years, and he still is skittish.
Our cocker spaniel needs no encouragement at all. She literally goes slightly crazy at meal time and I have to remind her to walk like a lady to her dish because she wants to jump up and down. Our Shih Tzu is another story. I’ve never met a dog that needs so much praise and encouragement to eat. I usually have to stay with him and after every few bites he will sit and look at me. I have to tell him what a good job he’s doing and how big and strong he’s going to be. It really leans towards the insane, but he’s such a funny little guy.
Tonka will lead me to the kitchen, or maybe I’m in the kitchen and he comes in. He obviously wants food. (Of course there’s usually food in his dish.) He’ll stand near his dish and look at me until I start petting him before he’ll tuck in.
If the dish needs replenishing, he’ll give my hand a head-butt to say ‘Thank you, dad!’ 