The calico cat will approach me and meow piteously when her food bowl is empty.
Upon picking her bowl up, I will say, “Oh my goodness, an empty food bowl! How did you live?”
What conversations do you have with your pets at dinner time?
“Alright already! Shut the fuck up!” 
Are you hungry? Are you hungry?
Do you want supper? OK. Let’s get supper.
This is a dog, obviously.
And then, do want a treat?
Much excitement and clockwise spinning in both conversations.
“It’s not time yet.”
Repeat as necessary.
“Sit. Good dog, Eat.” The dogs aren’t allowed to move from their sit and eat until given the release.
When I leave for work in the morning I’ll say, “Be good! I’m off to earn your daily bread.”
StG
Never time to say much for my obese beagle. Move your hand fast. Dog#2 A small Yorkie whom I must coax to eat, I do alot of begging. Please eat, just one bite, pleeeeze!
Now the cats. They like their meal times at the correct time. Sometimes I must convince them that the food is the same one that professed to liking yesterday. And treat time is exactly the same everyday, or else. They howl like they haven’t eaten and are dying a horrible death if I don’t hurry. Do. Not. Be late with treats, ever.
I must tell the Siamese how beautiful they are several times a day, feeding time is a good time to do it.
I don’t say anything. The food bowl is always full. As well it should be (cats).
(No, none of them are fat)
This, with getting up on his hind feet added to the mix. This is a 70# Lab, so you don’t want him running in front of you and tripping you. But I do also say, “sit,” and “wait,” both of which he’s learning well.
Possible blasphemy ahead!
With my dog, we would tell her “Say the blessing!” This would prompt her to sit and bark, after which we would say “Amen!” so she could stand up and eat.
Yep, we have two rambuncsious Border Collie mixes. 45lbs and 55lbs. We use wait and ok for food. Wait when taking them outside. Stay, is a little bit of a longer wait.
Where working on it. The are training us.
Next up. “Fetch (a beer)”
That’s pretty cute.
It doesn’t matter what we say to them, anyway. They only hear what they want to hear.
Dinnertime with cats:
My cats meow piteously, in tiny kitten voices. They rub against me, throw themselves on the ground at my feet, and generally act like they haven’t eaten in weeks.
Me: “I know, I know. Your life is a desert. You’re DY-ING. You poor suffering things. Suck it up buttercup.”
Cats: Mew, mew. Purrrrrrrrr. (They’re so affectionate at dinner time.)
Dogs:
The chi-hoo-ha-hoo-ha, all of 8 lbs soaking wet, ruthlessly chases the 150lb Newfie and the 100lb Swissie away from their bowls and then tries to get into their bowls to eat their food. This is somewhat amusing to watch, but it gets old. Dinner starts with me throwing kibble into another room, yelling “Pixel - get it!” and slamming the door. The big guys get bowls served with waiter patter, “Here’s your lovely, lovely kibble. Hmmm. Soaked in water for you big guy. It smells good. yes it does. Get OFF MY FOOT.” The Newfie is senile and failing, so he gets tempted to eat. (Yummy! Kibble!) The swissie works for dinner (sit, down, shake, wait, whatever) and then chows down and goes to see if the bear left him anything.
Wait…Ginger…ok. If she decides she’s not ready to eat yet and leaves the kitchen, she sometimes hears “the cat’s eating your food”, which usually spurs her into action.
“I’m not sure why you think it’s time for breakfast. You only had your pill 15 minutes ago. You know you have to wait an hour before you eat anything. And You! you stop encouraging him. And for crying out loud, stop dancing and lie down!”
Nearly every single morning.
There is no chatter during the feeding ritual, only highly standardized instructions. I’m the boss; I control the food. There are four steps to the eat stage.
We chat about and discuss everything else.
My mom’s dog is another one who has to wait for permission to eat. But with us, it’s just a basic “Brady, eat!”.
Of course, that’s preceded by a couple of hours of “It’s not time yet. Be patient.”.
Oh, My! A thread for me if there ever was!
Daily variations on the following:
*Tucker for Teddy
Consume and Varroom!
Breaky for Dicky
Chock and Puke
Kibble for Rabble
Meal for Missy
Dinner for Docky
Victuals for Rascals
Time for Hound Chow
Eat it and Beat it
A meal fit for The King *(only when I feed Doxie) He is The King!
Usually in some kind of stupid sing-songy theme.
I really need to get out more. :rolleyes: Embarrassing, really.
Dogs are a great audience. 
Gato, that’s pure poetry!