Yes, we all know that feeling.
Sometimes it results from a jab. Sometimes a flirt. Sometimes a downright insult.
The retort can strike you within minutes. Most often it pops into your head several hours later. Every now and then the whole scene replays itself with your witty reply inserted about a week later. You never even knew you were thinking about it.
The universal truth is: It’s always too late.
We all have a million of 'em. I can never remember more than the last one or two. Anyway, here’s mine from today.
I was on the phone with a very nice young lady whom I’ve been dealing with for a few weeks now. We were discussing a product made by a company called Cherry. They are notorious for extremely long lead times on product.
Me: Well, if they have it stock, about a week or two. If not, you are looking at a lead time of at least 3 months. I’m not joking, they are really difficult to work with.
Her: So are you saying that Cherry is a pain to deal with?
Me: Yeah, they are.
Her: Nevermind, I was kidding. I have a dirty mind sometimes.
Me: Oh, I get it.
Where the hell did that response come from? The 4th grade?! About five minutes after the call my line hit me:
Kristi, cherry was a pain at 16. At 29, it’s a deal breaker!
Please, share your most recent (or all time) missed lyrical opportunities.