I was just watching The People’s Court. At the commercial break, the narrator came on and said, “The plaintiff is a pain in the butt and I think the defendant’s head is right up there.”
Gee, thanks for the mental image.
Man, Judge Wapner NEVER would have stood for that! 
Dust mites and other creepy microscopic things that are everywhere. Ewww.
That people that I know and love are all in the process of getting older and eventually dying.
That Vice President Dick Cheney, under his clothes is NAKED!! :eek:
Even worse, so is Bea Arthur.
Excuse me while I go bleach my brain…
That a Oklahoma judge uses a penial pump when hearing cases.
Penile pump? Penal pump?
Am I being whooshed?
I’m stifling chuckles and snorts. That’s all kinds of funny. I suppose a robe would be perfect for such a thing.
Nice pension, too. I’m SO in the wrong fucking business.
That George W. Bush and company control most of the world.
All day long I walk through air that has, at some point, likely been tainted by someone’s fart.
Bea Arthur is naked under Dick Cheney’s clothes!?!
That gets MY vote.
Here’s the original thread I started.
It’s taking longer than we thought… …nor is the end in sight.
The fact that Ann Coulter makes more money off of writing books than she would if she were practicing law–or giving blowjobs to pirates, for that matter.
The fact that I’m old enough to be president. I’m just not rich or stupid enough.
The fact that Keaneau Reeves is richer than I am.
The fact that somewhere out there right now lives and breathes a guy who has it in his head that this was a good idea.
The fact that someday after all other ideas are played out and exhausted, we might see a movie about this superhero. (Note that this may or may not be appropriate for work, thanks to the good captain’s sidekick in the background.).
My loved ones’ mortality. Somehow, my own is a lot easier to bear.
Every embarassing/stupid/mean thing I’ve ever done.
My parents gettin’ it on.
My grandparents gettin’ it on.
Knowing what indignities my corpse will go through after death.
How hot dogs are made.
How laws are made.
Got another one…that people that aren’t as smart or as resourceful as I am on my worst day will have a better life than I will ever manage, money wise.
Also, there is a guy out there with the original formula for Cracklin’ Oat Bran and he can’t open an independant cereal concern.
I’m an adult now doing adult things, so I’m not “growing up” anymore so much as “getting old”.