That’s what I had forgotten.
Most Nuclear weapons are underpowered. Drop one direcly on an advanced building, and the building will be down to half strength but still standing.
Most grenades are overpowered.
Heck, nothing creates water pollution, at all, no matter how many factories and power plants and urban blight you have.
Rat’s tails are very hard to come by, unless you’re a worthy and valorous warrior.
Robot parts are reusable, but their use isn’t always the same as the original, and often considerably less powerful.
The world is toroidal or cylindrical, but never spherical.
A can of rations is the most powerful weapon ever devised, followed closely by an arrow used in melee.
Anyone can go up a chimney, but only Santa Claus can go down them.
No matter how much blood you splatter, no matter how much blood you drink - it never sticks to you.
Blowing up toilets and then standing in the gushing torrent from the broken pipes will not give you dysentery: it is in fact a valuable way to regain health.
Advanced field surgery can be performed by stepping on a box of Band-Aids.
Oddly enough, this is the same procedure for eating a large smoked ham.
A low-cut decolletage is just as effective at deflecting enemy fire as plate armor, unless the heroine is wearing leather armor, in which case, the cleavage is as effective as leather.
Somebody somewhere manufactures hundreds of exploding barrels and crates for the lucrative Exploding Barrel and Crate market. Nobody knows why.
The bigger the gun is, the easier it is to carry without overbalancing or encumbering yourself. Guns which are nine feet long weigh approximately 2.2 oz and fit in a watch pocket.
No matter how advanced the giant 5-story killer mech robot, it will never have The Club or any kind of key ignition startup.
You can overcome any obstacle or best any foe if you just take the time to learn its pattern.
If something blinks, attack it.
You’ll have to beat the last guy a minimum of two times. Three or four is to be expected.
Time slows down when there are too many things going on at once.
Bullets don’t really go all that fast.
Any shopkeeper in any town will buy what you are selling, but they all make a standard 100% markup.
You can jump higher if you build up a little lateral speed first.
Good grief, I’d forgotten that! The old “max forward speed plus strafing gives you a vector speed of `120%”.
Bazookas can have recoil.
Napalm doesn’t stick to things, or burn the insides of rooms. (Objects inside the room…maybe.)
The narrator has a very short temper.
The UN is actually very powerful and influential—and whatever country hosts it can act with utter impunity.
Merchants and shipwrights do not trade with pirates! Even ones who just sailed into harbor with a small fleet of War Galleons, and massacred the garrison (if it even tried to put up a fight). Also, pirates apparently respect this position.
If your people haven’t developed firearms by 1000 B.C., they just weren’t trying hard enough.
You can, apparently, wear armor under a ski-mask. And it’ll work.
It seems that your contacts, backup, and exfiltration chopper crew will recognize you, even if you’re wearing layers of foreign-made body armor (including the helmet), carrying an enemy weapon, and are likely splattered with blood and unidentifyable organic slimes, some of which are even human.
The Nazis were okay with leaving big unsorted piles of treasure laying around their fortresses, in plain sight.
No matter how much armor you are wearing, or what kind, you’ll rarely see it on you.
Zepplins and Submarines make excellant aircraft carriers.
Only one side in a war can develop submarines or strike aircraft.
Removing a building from the timestream will not take away the damage that building indirectly did to your base.
Moscow is undefended againest C-130 aircraft and Navy Seals.
Explosive barrels are always placed in piles near vulrenable structures.
NPCs have clearly been paddling in the shallow end of the gene pool: no matter how far you travel, peasants, townsfolk, starship navigators and security chiefs all start to show suspicious patterns of resemblance to one another after a couple of quests.
If you have road rage and run over some jerk, he’ll shout sacrastically, “Thanks, Mr. Break-my-legs!”
Once you invent armored motorized vehicles, your army’s horses and war elephants turn into tanks and anti-aircraft trucks.
Nebulas are a serious pain in the ass.
The citizens demand a stadium and cream of broccoli soup.
The villain will observe your progress and marvel at how powerful you’ve become but won’t actually fight you until you’re strong enough to kick his ass one-handed.
What is the fourth word in the second paragraph of page 37?
After you and your friends save the world, if some other catastrophe should strike, you will for some reason be stipped of all of the treasure and gear you acquired in your first quest and may even have lost all of the experience and power you gained.
Rolling a sumo wrestler over tea kettles and televisions will make him fatter.
People are not flammable. Watermelons and fire extinguishers are.
Don’t trust the skull.
the insane townspeople of a mysterious Spanish village apparently believe that the best weapon to wield against a policeman toting an Infinite Rocket Launcher is a pitchfork or small knife
those decaying buildings in said mysterious town are surprisingly well built, as even though they are constructed largely of rotting wood and hay, they can withstand the impact of powerful incendiary devices (like the IRL)
you can combine herbs of different colors to get a health bonus
firing powerful firearms without hearing protection will not affect your hearing
Crows hoard grenades and health kits
all Zombies have their own theme music, so they’re easy to spot, just keep your ears open
never underestimate the power of a moldy cheese sandwich
you can carry Tea and No Tea at the same time
why don’t you count your senses while you still have them
(footnote 42)
no matter what you do or where you go, you CANNOT get rid of The Thing your Aunt gave you but you don’t know what it is, luckilly, it seems to have nigh-infinite storage ability
entering an incorrect word will cause the case to explode
On Friday afternoon, the sky will turn blood red and it will rain cats (literally).
Grenades make extremely effective land mines
If you get set on fire, piss on yourself to put it out
Cats make very effective silencers
When designing a house, color schemes, patterns, arrangements and simple good taste are irrelevent. All that matters in making me happy is stuff. More stuff, more happy.
I’m vagualy curious what this game is.
Resident Evil 4, I think. I dislike the series, but this one is pretty popular. After you beat the game, you can get bonus gear like a Rocket Launcher (obviously ridiculously powerful)… that never runs out of ammo. Rather nice, actually.
Isn’t it fun reading through all of the footnotes?
A bomber will ALWAYS be defeated by three biplanes. ALWAYS.
Wild animals are capable of existing within ancient tombs which have been sealed for millennia on a diet of fresh air. Endangered species only exist to impede your progress, and should be killed ruthlessly: this goes double for creatures thought long-extinct or mythical, like dinosaurs and yetis. No matter how well-sealed an ancient tomb which has lain hidden for centuries is, there will always be skeletons of previous explorers strewn about the place: thoughtfully, they brought ammunition and medical supplies.
One exception:
In Indiana Jones and the Inferal Machine, Wolves and Leopards will try to kill you if you get close to them, but you cannot kill them, despite the danger to your health. The lesson: Blowing away 500 Russians is Okay, but killing endangered species is not.
9mm’s will be found inside of long sealed Nubian tombs. But then again, the Nubians invented the battery and the giant fight robot thousands of years ago.