“Get your sharp little goose beak out of my thigh” (said to border collie who likes to poke with her snout)
“I don’t understand you when you whisper” (said to cat who is in to “silent miaowing”)
“Stop poking holes in your sister!” (said to feuding dogs)
“Okay, enough toe-licking” (to toe-licking dog)
Come on, why do you always try to escape whenever I let you out of your cage?
Do you two have to climb up my back every time I lean forward?
“Hold still so I can get that worm out of your ass”
Who’s a little 'ho? Hmmmmm? Who’s a little 'ho? (Our female dog loves people, esp. men)
Oh, and just now, to the stupid one: Would you PLEASE stop trying to hump your sister?
“OW! Stop walking on my nuts!”
“Must you stick your butt in my face?”
I don’t know how I missed the posting of this, but I’m kinda grateful I did…
And I’ll add: “Get your face out of my crotch!”
Pets can be such [Austin Powers]cheeky monkeys[/Austin Powers].
“Well, if you’d quit crawling all over the place, you wouldn’t fall off, hairball.”
“Stop eating my carpet!”
“Look at this, you fat orange tub of lard!”
“Awww, you have such pretty little white feeties, yes you do!”
“God, you need a bath, boy.”
Oh, and of course, like every other female posting, the obligatory boob comment:
“Augh! Good God, those are sensitive, fuzzbutt!”
Since I now have a kitten who jumps up and down on my face at 6:00a.m.:
“Get your crotch out of my face!”
(uttered while feeding a 2 week old orphaned kitten with a syringe)
Suck it, bitch!
Will you stop whining for food? I just fed you last night.
How many of these things are people glad that CPS hasn’t heard them say? 