Think back to the first person you had sex with. Were the two of you in love?

In My Humble Opinion
1

This seems a remarkably simple question. Naturally, being me, I’ll overcomplicate it. :slight_smile: Answer the question in four senses.

  1. At the time, did you believe you were in love with that first bedmate?
  2. At the time, did you believe that person was in love with you?
  3. In retrospect, do you still believe you were in love with that first bedmate?
  4. In retrospect, do you still believe that person was in love with you?

No auto-poll. Partly because I’m not interested in differentiating between male/female & gay/straight responses, but mostly because I can’t be arsed. If you feel comfortable giving the approximate time between them and now, I’d be grateful; that said, I don’t really care about your ages, either now or at loss of virginity.

Also – and I realize I’m courting a pitting here – I’m only interested in talking about the first time you had sex voluntarily. I should think the reasons are obvious, but I thought I’d make it explicit anyway.

2
  1. Oh, yes.
  2. Absofuckinglutely
  3. I was as in love as any 18-year-old could possible be.
  4. Yeah, I do. He was devastated when I broke up with him a couple years later.

It was … counts on fingers … then toes … about exactly thirteen years ago.

3

At the time, I did not think I was in love with him, and I do not think he was in love with me. That later changed, however.

4

Maybe, maybe, no, no.

There’s really no positive spin on that; the impetuousness of youth, I suppose…:rolleyes:

5

No on all counts. It was straight-up lust and it was awesome.

6

Yes on all four. He was my high school sweetheart, now he’s my husband. 11 years (in August) married, 18 years together.

7

Define “sex.” :smiley:

I’ll go with first all-naked-fun-time experience, which did not actually involve penis-in-vagina intercourse - love was not involved on either person’s part at any time.

8

No to all questions. The only interactions we ever had were sexual. I knew her first name. I knew nothing else about her.

9

Yes. Yes. No. No.

10

I didn’t define sex on purpose, as I couldn’t think of a brief way to do so that please everyone. Y’all can all judge for your ownselves what having sex meant.

11

She was in love with me, or so she thought. I was in love with the the fact I got to finally have sex.

12

Same here.

I wish him well, that’s all the feelings I have for him.

13

) At the time, did you believe you were in love with that first bedmate?
2) At the time, did you believe that person was in love with you?
3) In retrospect, do you still believe you were in love with that first bedmate?
4) In retrospect, do you still believe that person was in love with you?

No to all four. We pretty much went into it as FWB. Later it evolved into a boyfriend/girlfriend thing but at no time was there discussion of love or commitment or whatnot. And it pretty much ended when she graduated high school the year before me.

Thinking…27 years ago? Something close to that.

14

Yes to all. I’m a romantic.

15

Sort of. We had been best friends for many years, had known one another since kindergarten, and loved one another the way you love your best friend. We were not “in love” the way you love your spouse but there was a lot of love there just the same. It was lovely to lose my virginity to a man I trusted absolutely and even though we have drifted apart over the years I still think the whole experience was wonderful.

16

Bingo.

17

All no’s for me.

18
  1. Oh yes, this was my soulmate!!!
  2. See above times ten million
  3. No, it was a combination of a highly charged libido, loneliness, and an immature view of the relationship between physical love and emotional love
  4. In his own, needy, possessive way, yeah I think he was

It’ll be three years this fall, and my oh my does that feel like a lifetime…

19

Forgot the follow-up question buried later in the post - this was about 20 years ago.

20

No, maybe, no and no.