Think of the persons you love most. Can you articulate why you love them?

[FallenAngel]

The people I love most, both romantically and as my Family of Choice, all share some qualities:

1. I can count on them completely.
2. They are people of great character and integrity.
3. They inspire me to be more like them.
4. I can laugh or cry around them with equal ease.

[handsomeharry]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

Communication is aided by the use of complete sentences.

Pardon my ignorance, but, I had thought that a one word response is a valid sentence. Right? Wrong?

Best wishes,
hh

[BigT]

@olivesmarch4th

I read something way back about how couples have been shown to be extremely good nonverbal communicators. So much so that scientists often don’t understand what they’re talking about.

I believe it. It seems of half of my interactions with my husband consist of nonsense words, weird sounds and exaggerated facial expressions.

We have excellent communication… probably to a rather nauseating extent. However, if there is some research to suggest that lack of communication isn’t a significant cause of marital conflict. That’s what John Gottman claims, anyway. He is well-respected in the field, but his research methodology has not gone unchallenged.

That seems so odd, as almost every conflict I’ve ever seen between married people has eventually boiled down to poor communication, specifically in the form of expectations: people expect without communicating that they expect.

[appleciders]

Just a quick one- my girlfriend. She’s the only person I’ve ever met who can explain an XKCD comic to me, then instruct me in waltz, tango, or swing the next minute. That kind of flexibility is rare. Also, she’s typically not that funny, which lulls me into a false sense of security until she starts deadpanning things for about one day a month. Kills me.

[Lord_Ashtar]

Because I’m a chump, that’s why.

[Nava]

Because they’re mine and they’re not old enough to have gotten real obnoxious yet.

Because I’ve loved them for a long time and, even though we only see each other once a year tops, we still like a lot of the same things, are not obnoxious to each other, and there’s no reason to lose good habits only because they’re old and rarely used (it’s not like feelings take up closet space, you know).

Because they’re mine and, while we do occasionally find each other obnoxious, we can tell each other “you’re getting on my nerves” in the knowledge that it will work.
Different groups of people, for different reasons. But apparently one of my key reasons for loving people is a simple “we can put up with each other”.

[elbows]

I am a better person for him having come into my life. He challenges me, and makes me laugh. He has stood, shoulder to shoulder, with me through life’s greatest trials. Together we have done truly remarkable things. I’ll die happy if I can die in his arms.

[Rushgeekgirl]

I love her because I can’t unlove her. I can’t imagine not feeling love when I think of her.

Maybe it’s in the DNA to have this bond between us. Maybe it’s her wit, or her natural scent she’s carried since birth, or because I trust nobody on Earth more than I trust her, or because she’s so kind and tender-hearted it reminds me of my own mother that I can no longer sense, having lost her 15 years ago.

[carlotta]

@Rala

I can’t come up with anything resembling an actual reason. They’re just my people. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t love them or imagine a time when I’ll stop. They’re part of who I am.

Well said, this describes how I feel as well, and the feeling expands past my family to my friends, who are an odd motley collection.

I’m tempted to say that I love people that I have allowed myself to love, people who, through circumstance or accident, I have shared enough time or intimacy with that I open my heart to them, that if I could make this leap without needing accidents of proximity or shared confidences I could love almost anybody.

I sometimes play a private game when I’m out in public. I pick a person and note what feelings and judgments float up in my mind (too fat, looks mean, nerd, whatever) and then I ask myself, “what if I loved this person, what if they were my favorite person in the world, what if I were absolutely thrilled to run into them in the grocery store?” and suddenly my stranger looks beautiful to me and it’s obvious how lovable they are.

[Zjestika]

@carlotta

I sometimes play a private game when I’m out in public. I pick a person and note what feelings and judgments float up in my mind (too fat, looks mean, nerd, whatever) and then I ask myself, “what if I loved this person, what if they were my favorite person in the world, what if I were absolutely thrilled to run into them in the grocery store?” and suddenly my stranger looks beautiful to me and it’s obvious how lovable they are.

I love this. I’m going to try it.

[bearman217]

I love the people that I love because they are either of my blood or close enough to me that they might as well be. I know that I would do anything for them and they would do anything for me as well. It is this loyalty that I feel makes me love those around me.