"I Love You." "How Much?"

“Take every grain of sand on every beach in the world and multiply it times a million, and that’s how much I love you.”

“You’ve used that one already.”

Well, hell. Now what?

Anybody got any good ones you’ll let me use?




Hold up all your fingers: “This many!”

Knocks 'em dead everytime.

Sarah McLaughlin sings that “Your love is better than ice cream.”

I sometimes say “I love you more than most of my computer games.” which gets me a slug in the arm, but then a kiss afterwards.

As big as a shark balancing on an elephant which is on top of a castle.

As big as a giant sock.

As big as the hat that god wears.

As big as a two giraffes, one standing on top of the other. No wait. Three giraffes!

Hold your thumb and your index finger up as close together as possible (so it looks like you’re going to say “this little”). Then touch the outside of your thumb and say from here, all the way around the world, and back to here (touch your index finger). I’ve been married to him for a year and a half!

I love you vip
I love you vop.
I love you better
than a pig loves slop.

My son (age 5) and I have worked out a compromise on the issue. After many long minutes of increasingly outlandish “as much as” as we each tried to prove we love the other more, we agreed to alternate days of who loves the other “the most”.

That was his idea.

Make an O with your fingers. “Infinately”

What, never read the classic children’s book?

“I love you all the way to the moon!”

“I love you all the way to the moon … and back.”


My son used to ask me, “How much do you love me?” and I’d just look around for the biggest thing in the vicinity and say, “See that bridge (or whatever)? Bigger”.

“Any way in which I chose to describe how much I love you would look pale and sickly in comparison to the reality”


“A whole shitload, my dear”


Unless she’s standing in front of the tv or has confiscated the remote just ignore her. she’ll sigh and walk away eventually.

I prefer to think of it in terms of love density, easily quantifyable:

5.669 x 10[sup]-8[/sup] W/m[sup]2[/sup]-K[sup]4[/sup], or 0.1714 x 10[sup]-8[/sup] BTU/h-ft[sup]2[/sup]-R[sup]4[/sup].

May not sound like much, but boy, does it radiate. :smiley:

ow. ow. ow. ow.

note to self:

never post evil man-answers when girlfriend is in the room.

my arm hurts. :frowning:

put your hands together back to back and say that it’s the distance between your palms—all the way around the world

what’s wrong with “with all my heart”.

“as much as it is possibly for one person to love another” also works :slight_smile:

To borrow a phrase from Toy Story:

“To infinity and beyond!”

Gee, avi8rmike, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen the Rankine scale used in the context of love!

[sub]Come to think of it, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen the Rankine scale used, well, anywhere…[/sub]

I say “13”
and she says “why? thats not very many”
and I say “well the scale is 1-10, do you know how much trouble it causes to make numbers higher than 10!? you should be happy you got a 13”

then she hits me…

happens every day…

I love you more than flies love manure.

I love you holds fingers 3 inches appart unless you are wearing that (insert sexiest item of clothing) when I love you holds fingers 7 inches appart.

I love you more than cows love grass.

I love you more than hippies love grass.

Cheers, Bippy