I finally learned to hold my soda when coming across shit like this. 
Am I the only one who thought the answer to “How much?” would be “$20, same as in town.”
OK, I’ll be quiet now.
Baby, if I was a dog, you’d be the something dead and stinky I’d want to roll in!
How much do I love you? I can only graph it on a mobius loop.
I’m getting a cavity over here…
sings
I love you a bushel and a peck,
a bushel and a peck,
and a hug around the neck,
a hug around the neck.
“I’ll tell you one thing, it’d be a whole hell of a lot more if you stopped nagging me and made me a friggin sandwich.”
What? Not Valentine-y enough?
“With the radiance of a glowing phosphorous tracer round. . .”
“With the firey passion of an orbiting AC-130 . . .”
“With the detailed precision of a GBU-24. . .”
“As much as front line infantry loves close air support. . .”
Just gotta put it into the right context for her, man. Trust me. They melt like a hot sabot through a T-72.
Tripler
And I wonder why I don’t get laid. :rolleyes:
“I love you more today than yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow.”
Nice song.
My wife and I never really did the “How much do you love me” routine. But from time to time, we tell each other “I love you because…” And fill in the blank. It may be something mundane (“because you looked so nice today”), or really important (“because you’re such a good mother to our children”), but it’s always good to hear a reason behind it. Very comforting.
“Eh, a bit.”
Does the trick most times.
“You’ll do in a pinch.”
I tell my husband I love him a polynomial assload, he says a polynomial assload plus one.
I like Frannie’s giraffe one best, though.
“I love you as much as a really big fish, maybe a tuna, no a shark or possibly even a whale.”
Seems to work 
What was that Weird Al song?
“You’re the woman that I’ve always dreamed of. Well, not really. But you’re good enough for now.”
… to infinity, plus 1 !
Works forks for me… 
“Almost as much as my truck.”
“I love you.”
“I know.”
Worked for Han Solo, works for me.
Typical exchange in FairyChatLand:
- Love you.
= Love you more.
- How do you figure?
= Just do.
We take turns starting this conversation. It usually ends with smooching.
With the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.
Now that’s hot!
Answers that I have had come out of my mouth in the past:
More than I ever imagined I would love anyone. (got good results)
click More than I love getting the highscore on that game I just turned off at level 10 a heartbeat before I would have set the new one. (got amazing results)
more than your sister. Although she did look nice today. (got a bruise on my shoulder)
My son has me beaten though. The exchange went like this between my now ex-wife and my son (age 6 at the time). X: I love you this much! (hands at arms length apart) Kaithan: I love you this much. (fingers about an inch apart) X: why so little? K: It’s not little, it just means you are always close enough to hug! X: cries
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
1 2 3 4 …”