Yesterday I rushed to the pub to watch the Newmarket because, maybe the best racehorse I have ever seen, Black Caviar was running.
And as she set and broke a pile of records I suddenly thought how much more fun it would be watching it with Chris. He would have got as much out of it as me but he is dead.
Maybe it’s just me, but really cool events seem to call up memories of people who would have loved them.
It’s not just you. I think it’s pretty common to wish that someone were able to witness something that they would have found neat or fun or amazing.
I think that’s true too. For the longest time after my brother died (he’s been gone now for almost 4 years), I’d do something and wonder just how much he’d have liked it also. I still do it from time to time now, just not as frequently.
Sometimes the reminisces are confusing. For instance, Brian was 24 when he died and I was 30. Brian would be in his late forties now, had he lived. In my mind’s eye, I imagine him here today in the activities the OP is describing as a 24 year old. When I think about it, it’s crazy. How might the years have changed him? The Brian I remember would not be the one that would be fun to hang around with today because it wouldn’t be him.
I’d love to discuss politics with my Dad. I’d love to BS or even spend a St Patrick’s Day with my uncle Joe. I’d love to even be able to hug my cousin Diane Marie. They’re gone though…and no amount of wishing in the world will ever bring them back.
As a side note, I used to have a ‘Fantasy Softball Team’. They were a softball team of people in real life who I truly wanted to meet, but never got to meet before they ‘retired’. In the fantasy, we’d just play a softball game against another team and, win or lose, just BS current events over pitchers of draft beer before closing time at a table at a local bar.
So far, I’ve had to retire the numbers of John Belushi, George Burns (umpire),Rodney Dangerfield (manager), John Candy (catcher), Sam Kinison (right field), and John Ritter (short-stop). Oddly enough, though I knew we grew up thousands of miles apart and had nothing in common, it was John Ritter who I thought I’d have the longest conversation with. But it doesn’t matter though. Those days of guys playing softball after work, and going to the local bar in the team uniforms (still covered in orange clay and wearing cleats) to drink draft beer to Rock-o-la jukebox music before heading home are long gone now.
FTR- I STILL say Robin Williams would have played one Hell of a good third base. And Akroyd definately has/had the height for first.
I often imagine my friends dead.
Oh, wait… I think I misunderstood the thread.
I think it’s normal for that to happen. I friend was killed a few days over 9 months ago and I’ll still forget he’s dead for a bit. For example: the trailer for Sucker Punch looks really awesome and I’ll think, “Dude, Caz needs to see this! Oh, yeah…”
It’s probably one of those things that’ll never go away if you were really close to someone. In talking to counselors and stuff they say that for the rest of your life you’ll probably still see that person. Someone across the street getting on a bus, in a club, wherever. For a split second you’d swear it was that person.
Yeah, I think it’s normal to have these thoughts about loved ones who are gone. When I bought my first house, I so wished that my mom had been around to see it. It had a lot of the features in a house that she had always wanted, so I think she would have loved spending time at the house and picking out furniture with me. I also know my dad would have loved to see my college and med school graduations.
It’s sad, but I guess all you can do is try to focus on the good memories that did happen!
My parents died 12 years ago, but every so often when speaking to my brother we joke how mom would have hated that show, or liked that one, or how dad would have made a comment about this or that…it is a part of keeping someone alive in your memories and it is more of happy memories than loss. Granted, it takes several years to reach this stage, but when you do it is possible to smile when you remember someone who died instead of breaking out in tears.
I find myself thinking I’d like to talk something over with my brother-in-law before remembering he’s been dead for thirty years.
I was sitting at a stop light and the gas station on the corner was advertising cigarettes for $5.29 per pack and gas for $4.25 per gallon. I so wished my dad could see that. He would have …died? oh wait.