I had a question. I posted it to General Questions because I thought it was a general question. It was a pretty understandable question in my own mind, probably because I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I was hoping the Dope could help me nail down the right answer (or, as it turned out in this case, the right question to be asking).
I received snark in return, so I clarified my question. More snark. By that time, I had really figured out the question I needed to be asking (and at that time, I also came to realize that the question would have been better off in Cafe Society, but at the time I posted the question, I just hadn’t realized that).
Honestly, my feelings got all hurt. It was like turning to a group of friendly acquainstances and getting my head bitten off.
I’m more frustrated with myself for letting it all get to me. But it just bummed me out. A few folks were kind enough to answer my question as best they could, and for that I’m very appreciative.
And I know, I know, it’s the Internet and people love being snarky and no one has to be nice. And I should put on my big-girl pants and everything. But it really hurt. I’ve come to really like the interaction on this board, and that just wasn’t the response I was expecting. It’s not enough to pit anyone… but I just want the folks involved to know they hurt my feelings for no good reason. Once I was able to really clarify my question, I realized it was a perfectly good question and some of the people involved made me feel really stupid.
I’ve got no other place to vent about it, so it’s going here.
I agree with you. That is a bummer. The thread reaction is surprising, but also (unfortunately) not. I’m glad you were able to find useful conversation elsewhere.
I’m sorry some snark was thrown in but there were some very good answers provided too that went beyond the simple question and expounded in interesting detail. Concentrate on those and thanks for asking the question, I learned something from the read.
Sometimes stuff like that bums me out too, then I realize what a “1st world problem” it is. I think about other people that are bummed because they they haven’t had clean water to drink in weeks…
Yeah, but my biggest problem yesterday was finding the answer to my question. It was work related, and I had a vested interest in fighting ignorance and learning the truth, you know?
Your question, as originally asked, was literally unanswerable. You’ve got to accept a big chunk of responsibility for that. You didn’t provide any kind of context or direction, leaving hundreds of different directions for people to go in. People asked for clarification, but while waiting for it, it’s like high school kids in a classroom without a teacher - people started amusing themselves. People start flinging erasers around and pulling each others’ hair. Occasionally some damage is done, but it’s all without malice - just bored people making each other laugh. That’s what this place is like.
You need to dial down your offense-o-meter about thirty percent.
I just checked out the thread. No one snarled until after several legit answeres were posted. Your question was almost incomprehensibly vague unless you interpreted it to be a question whose answer is plain and obvious. Hence the question, “are you serious.”
Sometimes it is indeed distressing to realize we have not communicated adeptly on a subject that feels very clear in our own heads. But it’s not the boards fault for finding you garbled and oblique - its yours for being garbled and oblique.
That’s why I mostly lurk. Been around here since just about the beginning, on an off, and with each passing year it just seems to get snarkier. Most of the time it’s good clean fun, but sometimes it can get rather mean spirited.
It’s that way on other boards I read as well, so I know it’s not just here…
Maybe it’s just the way things are now and we just have to roll with it, but it’s not you being overly sensitive. Seemed like a perfectly good OP to me.
Well, I certainly didn’t intend to hurt your feelings, for what it’s worth. Perhaps I’ve been too badly warped but I don’t see what in that thread was so objectionable with the exception of a few comments where my only advice would be to consider the source.
I dunno, I thought your question was interesting though vague, and you got some pretty insightful answers.
You bear some responsibility here for not giving enough background or direction in your OP.
I wouldn’t take snark personally. It certainly wasn’t intended that way by anyone, from what I read.
I believed you asked an inartfully-phrased question (and this bedevils us all at times) in good faith. You actually predominantly got straightforward answers (there does seem to be a significant trend in having the sun as masculine and the moon feminine across cultures and eras; no there is nothing that could really be called official about this). The snark was mild, and really only occurred after you complained about the quality of the answers. But, I think you were genuinely taken aback and were really bummed out. It’s fine to feel this way, but a little naive to expect other people to feel responsible for it (“It’s nothing, I guess I’m just in a bit of a funk today…”).
Dwelling on the matter (especially if one is given to percieving slights — and you will know whether this is the case with you, I don’t know you) is not going to make you happier; it will only impede your resilience.
I think you got pretty good answers, on the whole. a little snark but not too bad. the nice thing is, you get snark and you can do what you like with it.
ignore it
snark back
post about it (your option)
and so on.
I have to say I understood your question perfectly. I was disappointed in the people who acted like it was some bizarre thing to say. It frustrates me, too, when someone seems to almost deliberately not understand what I’m trying to express. I have to remind myself that people think about things differently. I get a lot of practice with my extremely literal-minded husband.
Well, it was unanswerable if taken literally. But given the common sense consideration that the OP was not asking whether or not the moon has ovaries and a vagina, it wasn’t particularly hard to figure out what he meant.
As to the OP: pedantic snark is part of the board culture for whatever reason. I agree its offputting, but its not particularly hard to ignore, either. As others said, the actual conversation that developed was interesting (I learned something). Just ignore the people that insist on trying to make everything a “meta” question on whether the original question is worthy/valid/whatever.
Unfortunately this chat room is in the process of irreversible intellectual decline- a sort of Gresham’s Law of threads and posts, as it were.
If you want a thoughtful answer to a reasonable question you will have to go elsewhere.
Here you need to stick to the subjects of sexual activity, defecation, urination and menstruation if you want more than about 10% of the replies to contain on-topic information of any kind.
