This guy MUST be a SDMB member. And from the BBQ Pit. Newslink

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

The sarkiest SOB in all Scotland, and quite likely an SDMB Member.
http://www.newsdaily.com/Quirks/UPI-1-20071109-20060800-bc-britain-complaint.xml

Commenting about six “failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths)” kicking a ball near an iron gate, the unidentified resident e-mailed another unidentified person, asking that the recipient pass along the note to police “by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board,” The Telegraph reported. He complainant’s said his efforts to contact police failed.

The writer said he was concerned that the youths would begin playing with a discarded gas canister, noting they were likely “to blow up half the street and I’ve just finished decorating the kitchen.”

When a community beat officer wrote back, the unnamed resident noted that a reply within 16 hours and 38 minutes “must be a personal record,” the British newspaper said.

Scots Dopers–Fess up!

Which one of you is it?

[Quartz]

Didn’t a former member with the initials SBSO post something similar? Though I thought he was on the West coast.

[shamrock227]

If that guy isn’t a Doper he should be. I wonder if we can track him down?

[Northern_Piper]

@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

The sarkiest SOB in all Scotland, and quite likely an SDMB Member.

So where is he: Sark or Scotland?

[SmartAleq]

@Northern Piper

So where is he: Sark or Scotland?

Bear sark in Scotland!

[AskNott]

@SmartAleq

Bear sark in Scotland!

Maybe it’s Cutty Sark!

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

JOY!
JOY!
JOY!

I just found a full reprinting of the exchange online.

OG! We must recruit this freak of nature to the SDMB!

Read it all, & laugh your @ss off–

Sarcastic Email To Police Becomes An Internet Hit

Dear Sir/madam/ automated telephone answering service

…
Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building. This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring sytem works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you’ll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four-month head start before coming to arrest me.

I have laughed this much in years!

[Boyo_Jim]

If you can find out who this is, I will pay his first year’s membership fee, if he’s willing to join.

[Wile_E]

Ah, it brings a tear to me eye, it does.

[Liberal]

@Boyo Jim

If you can find out who this is, I will pay his first year’s membership fee, if he’s willing to join.

According to the article, he doesn’t want people knowing who he is.

[carnivorousplant]

He was only able to get away with this because the British police don’t carry firearms, right?

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Does anybody have the email address of the newspaper in his area?

We could leave a message for him.

[carnivorousplant]

@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor

We could leave a message for him.

How can we be certain we don’t get a poser?

[blondebear]

Just go for it and let the chips fall where they may.

[Savannah]

Damn, he’s not single.