This is to the humorless lawyer I came across

Fuck you!!!

Here’s what happened. So I’m in court for my speeding ticket. I sit down 2 seats down from a guy with a big briefcase, It’s pretty obvious who he is. So anyways finally the judge comes in very late and I silently crack a joke to the lawyer. The lawyer looks up at me, stares deeply into my eyes for around two seconds and then says with the most emotionless face I have ever seen “That was so funny”. And then continues to stare me in the eye.

Not since my junior year in college have I wanted to punch someone in the face that bad. I slowly look away and hope this whole thing will be over very soon so I could go home. I still don’t know if he honestly has some sort of laughing disorder or he was just being a total prick. Have you ever come across assholes like this?

What was the joke? Maybe it just wasn’t funny.

I don’t exactly remember the joke but it wasn’t so bad that it was worth that sort of reaction. Even if it wasn’t funny I can’t imagine myself saying anything like that with an emotionless face, especially to a stranger.

He was probably laughing silently (on the inside).

Well, I hope you wiped him off.

Now that was funny.

Please be so kind as to allow me space to promulgate a mini-rant about people who tell me the most idiotic, lame-ass, mindless, six-year-olds-would-find-it-stupid pathetic limp excuses for a witticism. When I stare with a complete lack of reaction at the dolts who let fly with these verbal equivalents of the time-wasting schmuck who pays for his supermarket gum purchase by writing a check, they have the temerity to ask me if I have a sense of humour.

And then I want to smack them.
My sympathies are with lawyer-boy. There are few things worse than a person who’s not as funny as he thinks he is.

The lawyer responded to a joke you cracked silently? Lawyers have become telepathic!

Well I said it loud enough for only him to hear.

And to Bryan Ekers please allow me to give a hearty fuck you to you as well. Even if my joke was not funny at all, you could at least have enough decency to at least not say anything or perhaps give a quick chuckle. Not to stare me coldly in the face and say how funny that joke was. I wouldn’t have given him a pit thread if he just ignored me. But to say what he did, that pissed me off.

Nothing of what I said was a direct threat to Bryan, more of an insult.

Well, what was the joke?

If your joke was about the judge, his reaction would make perfect sense to me. I’ve covered court cases many times, and spent time aorund many lawyers, and one subject that is OFF LIMITS are judges. There are very real consequences, both in the professional world and even through the Bar Association, for mocking a judge.

Seriously? Because my Torts professor (who missed his true calling as a stand up comedian) mocks judges all the damn time.

The guy is a riot.


But probably not in court, and probably not right after the judgre has entered. I suspect that lawyer-boy probably had a case to present before the judge and was trying to show the proper respect in the courtroom. That’s not a whole lot to ask.

Actually, you are NOT allowed to speak when the judge is entering the courtroom, until he/she is seated and has acknowledged the court. Big NO-NO. Grounds for kicking you out of the courtroom in fact.

The lawyer was not being an arsehole, he was probably trying to drop you a hint.

Well, let me clue you in, soixante-dix-sept; when you tell a joke or make a statement to an audience, the audience has absolutely no obligation to laugh or otherwise react in a manner you expect. That the lawyer didn’t laugh isn’t his problem. It’s quite likely that your joke wasn’t funny and/or wasn’t appropriate to the setting. A joke which, by the way, apparantly wasn’t memorable enough for even you to recall.

Similarly, when you start a pit thread, it’s entirely possible you’ll get reactions which are entirely unsympathetic to you. Is that our fault? Nah. Maybe you’re just a jerk.

To all asking, it was after we sat down that I said it. It’s not like I said it when he came in. Also personally I can’t even imagine what I would have to say for it to be alright to give me the response that he did. That’s what this pit thread was about, not whether or not the joke was funny but his asshole response.

Personally, I’m still waiting to hear what the joke was. . .


A lawyer and a judge walk into a bar. . .

And why were you telling a joke in a courtroom?

You told a lame joke to a lawyer during trial. You may as well have cracked a joke to an undertaker during a funeral.

A lawyer makes his living off picking apart witnesses and not suffering fools gladly. Don’t blame the audience when your joke bombs.

Well, you know Rilchiam, when a boy gets a courtroom pregnant the only proper thing to do is to tell a joke in it.